User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 33

'''SM64 Bloopers: The ! Switch (February 10th, 2008) [Runtime: 7:45. Total Runtime: 15:55] '''

Prelude:

Coming off the heel of the previous video, “The ! Switch” is MM54321’s continuation of the fabled Fixing the Clock mini-arc. However it’s not quite the finale of the arc, even though this video ties up nicely at the end. It was uploaded a mere day from the previous video and has just about as much production put behind it. And believe it or not I have mixed feelings about this video. On one hand it’s even duller and more boring than the last one, but on the other there’s something in it that will forever make this one of the most hilarious things from MM I’ve ever seen. You’ll see what I’m talking about in a second.

See this video first before reading on to get your own properly informed opinion:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut2lWedPMlk&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=33

The Main Video:

So we start off right where we left off last time, with Mario hitting the switch left behind by the Thwomp. Given that this never appears in the game proper it’s clear that this is another Toad’s Tool modification made by MM. Granted it’s an odd choice since if the switch was there, why did the Thwomp not end up pounding on it millions of times over? In fact, how did it even get there in the first place? Did the Thwomp disconnect it initially and just brought it back over when Mario passed his challenges? Even if he had MM bring it over (since Thwomps don’t have hands), how did he manage to get that switch put away in the first place?

Gah, I’m thinking too much. Anyways, random magic got that switch there and Mario ended up pressing it. Right when he does, however, we get another stock explosion picture and sound. Wait, again? Dammit I’m going to need to make a counter of these stock explosions aren’t I? Stock Explosion Counter: 6. Anyways the explosion ends up destroying the castle...wait what. WHAT? So all this time there was a gigantic bomb inside the clock and no one noticed this before? H...how? HOW?

On a brighter note, it seems like the Toad isn’t disturbed by this. I’m going to assume this is the same one that just stands at the front lobby of the castle because I could imagine that guy just standing out in front of the wreckage like a homeless person. And from that Toad and from Peach’s letter I’m just going to assume everyone somehow made it out of that castle alive. Even if Mario ended up killing anyone with that explosion it wasn’t intentional murder or his bomb that did the deed, so therefore these deaths mean nothing to me. Anyways, Mario misspells ‘supposed’ yet again while lamenting how the Clock Thwomp supposedly betrayed him. Sopposed Counter: 6. Then Parakarry comes in and shares a letter from Peach. On it, Peach states that she’s staying at a motel and that until Mario rebuilds the castle, she’ll hate him forever.

First off, Peach’s threat seems shallow at first, but when you think about it it’s no wonder why Mario’s so concerned. If she hates him, then he’s most likely going to fall so hard from being the public image of the Mushroom Kingdom. He’s already horribly jealous of Luigi getting Peach better gifts, imagine how pissed he’d be if Luigi became the new hero instead? And that’s not even getting into the fact that if he grows too out of favor with the public, who’s to say any people he’s wronged in the past won’t get a huge opportunity to finally be rid of him once and for all?

Secondly, I wouldn’t be as much concerned with getting revenge as I am about the fact of how the hell a bomb like that got into the castle in the first place? Did the manufacturers put it in to spite Peach because of her negligence to the kingdom? No, that can’t be the case. I know that Peach is inept but I’d think that Mario in the countless years that he’s been working on trying to fix the clock would have discovered something about it at some point. No, it had to have been put in recently. That leaves only two potential suspects. And since the Clock Thwomp doesn’t have any arms or legs at all, that means that there’s only one person that could have placed the switch there.

Yep, it’s MarySue54321. He’s the only one that could have placed that bomb there. He had the tools to do it (literally, with Toad’s Tool 64) and he was there when Mario pressed it. Hell he even suggested for Mario to press it, outright saying it would fix the clock. No doubt because he wanted to prolong this story for as long as possible and make Mario suffer for as long as possible too. So with MM yet again getting what he wants, Mario screams that he’s going to kill the Clock Thwomp and “PWN his friends too.” Yep, we’re at the point where Mario is so far gone that he’s starting to talk like a kid who plays ROBLOX. Also the castle apparently costs fifty million dollars to repair. Wait...wait dollars? Not coins? What happened to the Mushroom Kingdom economy, MM? Are coins and dollars just interchangeable here? I...okay no I can’t dwell here for too long, I need to get on to the Thwomp.

The Clock Thwomp when confronted at Whomp’s Fortress very understandably tries to shake off the accusation, but since Mario is dead-set on thinking that he blew up the castle, he has to save  face another way. He states that Mario has to pass his ‘toughest tests yet’ to get fifty million coins, wait crap, sorry “dollars”.

That was perhaps the dumbest thing you could say to Mario because why in any world would he go through more of your random bullhockey to get fifty million dollars? This is Evil Mario we’re talking about, he’s most likely going to ignore you, kill you and take the dollars for himself regardless. You just said that you have the money, so why wouldn’t he just take the easy way out? Heck you don’t even say that you have it hidden somewhere else so that he has to take the tests, and even if you did hide it, he’d probably just threaten the information out of you anyways.

Luckily for him though, Mario actually agrees to the proposition. Though, he states that if he loses, he’ll just kill the Thwomp anyway. So either Mario passes the tests and gets the fifty million dollars, or he loses, kills you and then takes the fifty million dollars regardless. At this point, Clock Thwomp, you’d be best off just giving him the money and praying that he doesn’t kill you anyway. There’s literally no point in enraging him even more so than he already is. I assume that MM is restraining Mario from killing the Thwomp at this point since the next scenes show Mario actually going through the Thwomp’s trials.

And the trials this time are...more Mario Party games.

From more than just the first one, granted, but still Mario Party games. Uuuuggghhhh yeah no I’m just going to skim over these. I literally don’t care enough to go into detail with these. It’s Mario Party minigames, what interesting things do you expect me to say? The only things I’ll say are that each game includes a Thwomp and that Mario’s friends seem really insistent on not letting Mario pass his trials. Also Donkey Kong finally appears in a video, though only because Waluigi wasn’t in Mario Party 1.

After 99 trials...wait he seriously went through 99 of them? Dang, either Mario really gained a whole heap of patience or MM is really keeping his control in Mario’s face this time. For his final trial he’s mercifully not doing a Mario Party game and ends up going back to Whomp’s Fortress. There he has to climb to the top, where he discovers...okay how do I describe this? This video was a bit of a snore in the last few minutes thanks to the Mario Party stuff, but this...this completely makes the video worth watching. Behold, the greatest creature ever conceived by mankind:

Yep. You’re seeing this right. A Whomp with Thwomp textures. It is absolutely glorious. The stubs are the funniest part, it’s like they’re trying to noodle Mario to death. No lie, this is such a cursed creature that one of my friends started calling it ‘Gilgamesh’. I don’t think it quite deserves that title, so therefore this thing from now on will be known as the Twhomp. An evolutionary version of the Thwomp that gained the mobility of the Whomp, to surpass its original limits. And believe it or not, it turns out that the Clock Thwomp was actually a big Twhomp!

Which...actually, now that I think about it, that means he had appendages this entire time! Wait this explains so much...OH NO. That means he had legs to move and arms to move things with! He could have totally put the bomb in and moved out on his own! All this time he had this power  of the Twhomp, no, as a big Twhomp and no one else was the wiser! So that means MM legitimately didn’t know what the switch would do. Heck, even when showing his thoughts, all he could say was an “I think” and not a “no this switch will totally screw over Mario.” For once I’ve blamed MM for the wrong thing.

But that means that the Big Twhomp was behind everything, wasn’t he? In fact Mario never seemed to notice him until the last video, which means he was definitely preparing for this moment. He admitted to causing the clock’s problems so that he would get Mario’s attention and force him to go through his own trials. He placed the bomb there intentionally after the trials were over so that Mario would get angry at him. And no doubt when Mario came to confront this monster of society, he would be inclined to undertake numerous trials under the promise of cash so that he could reclaim his title in society. No doubt after 99 tasks Mario would be tired enough for the Big Twhomp to kill Mario and finally be rid of the scourge of the Mushroom Kingdom. What a (unintentional and totally because of my alternative character interpretation) cunning twist villain. He not only could have gotten rid of Mario and forced him to fulfill the Twhomp’s sick desires of putting someone through his tests, but he also could have brought the Mushroom Kingdom to its knees with the destruction of Peach’s Castle. His plan only failed because Mario was just that much of a beast.

After Mario kills him and two of his loyal Twhomps, he takes ten months rebuilding the castle. Mario Kill Count: 396. The credits roll.

Well that was a ride at the end. The whole Twhomp reveal was super hilarious and enjoyable to meme about, I’m so glad that MM merged those textures together. The Mario Party section was boring as always, though, so it was a mixed bag regardless.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Mario - 10 lines [36/61%] (Is he feeling okay? I know it might be wrong of me to feel that he needs to be murderous, but at least it would have been rational this time)

Heave-Ho That Killed Mario - 0 lines [0]

Thwomp of the Clock/Big Twhomp - 4 lines [14/24%] (IMO he’s giving Oiram a run for his money for best MM54321 character)

Baby Penguins - 0 lines [0]

Mother Penguin - 0 lines [0]

MarySue54321 - 0 lines [2/3%]

Toad - 1 line [1/2%]

Parakarry - 2 lines [2/3%] (Hey, a companion that Mario can’t ignore)

Peach - 1 line [1/2%] (Ah yes, the ongoing tradition of her being offscreen continues. At least she gets a line in this)

Luigi - 0 lines [0]

Wario - 0 lines [0]

Donkey Kong - 0 lines [0] (His first appearance, and it’s in a Mario Party game. Not sure that’s an honor he’d like to have)

Waluigi - 0 lines [0]

Thwomps - 3 lines [3/5%] (This is a whole race of losers now that I know of the Twhomps)

Twhomps - 0 lines [0] (LOL these guys are the best)

Total Lines: 59 lines

Part/Whole Biggest Chad: Big Twhomp - How could I not? This guy played Mario like a fiddle, forcing him to go through his trials, disposing of the castle and nearly disposing of Mario himself. His verbal manipulation and his clever use of his physical body make him stand out where Oiram could not, and I am now inclined to join the cult of Twhomp as a result. All hail the Twhomps!

Part/Whole Biggest Loser: Mario - Yeah you saw this coming. He had to go through over one hundred trials and spend 10 months on castle renovation when he could have just killed the Thwomp from the beginning.

Favorite Quote: “AND I AM GOING TO PWN HIS FRIENDS TOO!!!” - Roblox Player Mario (Which, fun fact, he actually does murder this guy’s friends too. Props to MM for that foreshadowing.)

But wait! The castle is restored, but does that mean the clock is fixed? ...given that the clock is in pieces right now, it’s safe to say it’s probably never going to be fixed again. But will the new clock work? Find out...in a few videos, because we have something else next.