User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 14

Mario Bloopers: Cerulean Cave Parts 1 and 2 (October 20, 2007 - Part 1, October 28, 2007 - Part 2) [Runtime: 9:25 (Part 1), 1:07 (Part 2), 10:32 (Separate Total), 10:35 (Combined Total)] 

Prelude:

Alright, I have to address one important thing for this video as my introduction. Originally this was a two-parter video as the total length was longer than ten minutes, forcing MM to upload a nine-minute first part and a minute-long second part. So technically this series was two separate videos, even though it was created to only be one. However, thanks to YouTube copyright shenanigans MM ended up having to re-upload the first part of this video with different audio. However, since the ten minute limit ceased to exist by this point MM took the opportunity to just merge both videos together into one video. That is the current video on the playlist, though it counted for two different videos at one point.

So the question for this review series is, do I treat both halves separately? Or do I review the whole video as one collective video instead of as separate ones like on my playlist? For the sake of numbering on the wiki I’ll end up reviewing the whole story at once, but I’ll end up still counting the two parts as separate for the Biggest Chad/Biggest Loser awards later on. That way they still count for two videos in some sense. Are we good there? If we are, then let’s begin with the adventures of M...Evil Mario.

See this video first though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccmnE9Qe808&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=14

The Main Video:

We start with a mysterious narrator describing Cerulean Cave...oh right, I have to give some backstory on this place. This is the Bonus Dungeon of the first gen of Pokemon, a cave that houses one of the most famous legendary pokemon actually, housing the iconic Mewtwo. However since this is an MM54321 production Mewtwo isn’t mentioned at all for...some reason...instead there’s supposed to be a treasure here. Um...is the treasure Mewtwo? Screw it I’m assuming the treasure’s Mewtwo in this case, because to be fair in Generation one I heard they were super broken.

Many tried to get it, and all have failed, which...hum well I would have expected Red or maybe Blue to find it at some point but I guess they’re just abysmal failures in this timeline. One brave man will step up and find the treasure, one that will claim it and become number one in the Pokemon world for all time! And that man...is Mario! Wait, no, sorry, never mind. I forgot that Mario disappeared a long, long time ago. No, we’re still stuck with Evil Mario, unfortunately, who continues to masquerade as our favorite plumber. I still like this intro, though, since it’s a traditional set-up for a ‘protagonist’ to achieve something legendary.

He encountered the cave and some random kid guarding it one day. And, literally existing for no other purpose than to kill people and to explore stuff, he pressures the kid into telling him information about the place. The kid responds back that only the Pokemon Champion is allowed in and that you have to get 8 badges from Gym Leaders around Kanto to be able to get into the League and face the Elite 4. You know, standard Pokemon stuff. You would think that Evil Mario would just blast the kid away with a machine gun and get in manually, heck I wouldn’t put it past him. But he for some reason decides not to kill the kid and actually walks away.

Don’t worry, though, because the kid outright gives Evil Mario another plan. He says that ‘it’s not like you can just steal them’ and of course after saying that Evil Mario’s going to try and steal them. Heck he confirms my thoughts seconds later by outright stating his intentions when he walks away from the kid! Clearly I think he’s just not committing murder right now or using the power of breaking physics because of Penguin Town PTSD or something. Those Megaton lasers must have really been painful for him.

So, he goes along with his crime and ends up stealing 7 gym badges, leaving only the last one’s left. And the last one happens to be the leader of Team Rocket, Giovani. He ends up being locked out of the door initially, though thanks to his physics-breaking powers Evil Mario is able to bypass the door anyways. He attempts sneaking around the place but thanks to being an idiot he gets caught by someone. That someone takes him right to Giovani, though, probably because he knows he’s going to die if he antagonizes Evil Mario.

Giovani, more fearless than most, takes quite a bit of stride in Evil Mario having no Pokemon and thus winning by default. Evil Mario simply yoinks his badge away and runs straight out, with Giovani no doubt being super confused as to why this plumber can break through reality itself.

Actually wait, this could change Team Rocket’s goal entirely! Why try and garner the best Pokemon when they could be trying to capture and use Evil Mario on their own accord instead? Having the badge stolen from him, however, it’s clear that Giovania has to keep his little ruse up by chasing Evil Mario as much as he can. It’s clear he’s not going to catch up to him in any way but he’s certainly going to try.

Right when Evil Mario gets outside, Brock and the other Gym Leaders end up finding him and chasing after him. There’s no doubt they’re steps behind since Mario probably zoomed all over the place with his superior body, so this is acceptable. Literally walking over tall mountains and gates, Evil Mario easily gets into the Victory Road with a mile lead and passes by all the badge guards.

Also, quick side question, is it really efficient to have 8 different guards for all the badges? Couldn’t there be like one guard that checks for all badges instead? I guess for security reasons if there’s like a criminal that beat one guard up, seven more could stop him later on. But also that would suck for people who want to enter and only have seven of those eight badges, they’d hike and swim that whole distance and end up having to go all the way back! And also, why is there water here as part of the check-in? How many lawsuits would that result in?

Anyways, once he gets past that ridiculous security gate, Evil Mario has to badger through Victory Road and all the people in it. He does so by having both an uncanny sense of ability and warping through literal stone walls, getting through it in minutes and making Pokemon trainers everywhere cry at the same time. Once he gets through that, he ends up having to face the Elite 4.

Normally since he has no Pokemon he should automatically lose against all four of them. But I’m assuming word of Lavender Tower has spread loud and clear, and Evil Mario’s name is on the watchlist of these elite Pokemon battlers. Being smart individuals they wisely choose not to try and reject Evil Mario’s wishes and let him pass through without a fight. Luckily for them it ends up saving their lives, and Evil Mario passes by all of them easily. Also for the third one there’s Lavender Town music put in by MM and Evil Mario audibly calls back to it with horror. It’s a neat little callback that I appreciate, though Evil Mario saying he wants to blow up the room afterwards is not something I appreciate.

It seems like Evil Mario has become the champion of the whole Pokemon League...until Lance reveals that Luigi is the current reigning champion and that he got there before Mario. Wait a minute, WHAT? How…? HOW…? Apparently he says that he’s doing this to stop Evil Mario for his crimes, so that begs the question of how he managed to get there faster than Evil Mario. Um...well it’s quite literally impossible for him to have beat Evil Mario to the punch after Evil Mario was already stealing badges. There’s no evidence that he knows how to cut through space matter in the series, nor would he have time to beat Evil Mario in getting all the badges and Victory Road beforehand. It is literally impossible to accomplish all of that before Evil Mario got there.

Which means that the only likely explanation is that Luigi did all of this before Evil Mario ever got the idea of the Cerulean Caves. Clearly I think the Gym Leaders would be horribly mad if Luigi stole their badges and the Elite Four would never have a reason to fear someone like Luigi. I’m pretty sure this confirms that Luigi is legitimately a Pokemon Trainer in this timeline and actually became the champion. This means I’m betting he has at least six Pokemon with him that he can use to battle Evil Mario, right? He’s surely not going to be fighting his own brother by himself given what’s happened beforehand, right?

...wrong, he fights him one-on-one in a Smash Brothers fight.

Set yet again to Scatman music. Scatman Counter: 6. You know, I don’t get why it’s Scatman music of all things that MM’s decided is good battle music. It really doesn’t make me feel like lives are on the line, it makes me feel this is just casual. Also the battlefield totally looks like they’re in an alien decaying world that totally would not fit in with the Pokemon League aesthetic. Also why is Luigi fighting Evil Mario alone here when he has an army of Pokemon no doubt? Oh wait this is Evil Mario we’re talking about, those Pokemon would die horrific deaths if that happened. Actually yeah, good call Luigi saving their lives by fighting alone.

Also this makes Luigi legitimately a selfless protagonist since he’s opposing Evil Mario right now for stealing all those badges. It’s taken this long but there’s finally a main character that I can actually root for. Move over, Oiram, Luigi’s taken your spot as the main protagonist of this series. Evil Mario actually feels betrayed over this, asking why Luigi would do this to him. UM… I dunno, maybe it would have to do with the fact that you ''murdered him in literally the second video on this series? Or that you did other legitimately horrible stuff that makes you a menace to society?'' Sorry but I have to agree with Luigi when he says he wants to kill you. Even if it’s not completely for the right reasons, technically Luigi’s doing more good for the Mushroom Kingdom than you ever would.

Unfortunately Luigi proves to be inept at combat and Evil Mario curbstomps him, getting the champion title and getting access to the caves. I guess Luigi got the protagonist's curse like Oiram did, and it proves to me that there’s almost no point in being good in this universe. So Evil Mario ends up entering the Cerulean Caves after his rounds of thievery and intimidation and automatically declares it’s worse than Lavender Tower.

So I guess the horribleness of a place can be judged from the music alone? Because I don’t think Evil Mario’s thinking with logic, this cave looks utterly abandoned. Maybe MM could remove the No Encounters cheat this time so that it could look like powerful monsters are here? At least that would help.

But no, Evil Mario ends up breezing through the caves and ends up somehow not encountering any Pokemon, not even Mewtwo. I call heresy on that but whatever. Oh god I just realized, what if Evil Mario got his hands on a Mewtwo? What if he knew that was the treasure and needed it to take the throne for himself by force? Or maybe he just wants it to vaporize Penguin Village, I dunno. Either way, him getting that thing is not good at all. And thus, Part 1 ends.

Though it’s not as if Part 2 has much else. Evil Mario finds out there’s no treasure and leaves, finding this to be a waste of time.

Once he exits, though, Luigi and then 8 Gym leaders find him and actually beat him up? Wait, they managed to beat him? Oh dear Heaven above, finally, Evil Mario’s paying for one of his crimes! I never thought I’d see the day! He deservedly gets the stuffing kicked out of him by all eight, with Giovani no doubt being mad he didn’t get to kill the plumber then and there. As further punishment the plumber has to return all the badges and is never allowed to step foot in Cerulean Cave ever again. That’s just about as good of a happy ending as we’ll get for this, and I’m glad that Evil Mario is getting comeuppance for his actions. It at least shows that he isn’t allowed to get away with evil acts all the time.

But as for the treasure in the caves...it turns out that MarioMario54321 got it first. W...what? And he did it just to see Evil Mario and Luigi fight? Well I...what? Did you really need this grand elaborate set-up throwing the most influential battlers in Kanto and a terrorist organization to get the two to battle? Just frame Luigi for burning Evil Mario’s food supply for something, he’ll be out to kill Luigi in seconds!

Although I guess something on this grand of a scale would warrant a video, so I guess it makes sense. MM, like the grandmaster manipulator troll that he was, must have gotten this idea after Lavender Town. He set Luigi up to be the champion of the region, and then once he became champion he kicked off Evil Mario’s Penguin Village PTSD and sent him over towards the direction of Cerulean Cave for filming purposes. Of course, it went all according to MM’s plan! He must have even used his own physics-breaking powers to sneak into the cave first and get Mewtwo. As expected for a Mary Sue.

Of course he didn’t account for Evil Mario and Luigi listening to the titles, with MM knowing that he’s in trouble for causing both of them untold pain and basically nearly murdering one of them again. We’re left to assume both teamed up to kick the crap out of MM which...okay Evil Mario working with anyone is a miracle let’s be honest, even his own brother. But I guess he’s fine with it as long as they have a common enemy…? Also I assume they murdered Mewtwo in the aftermath since, spoilers, it never appears in the MM54321 canon.

And that’s Cerulean Cave. It’s definitely better than Lavender Tower in terms of plot. The whole story doesn’t fall apart because of idiocy, there’s a likeable protagonist and all the crimes that Evil Mario commits are actually called out on and given punishment. Aside from the introduction of this story, though, I don’t really like the Pokemon gameplay footage and think wandering around through the game in a video is kind of dull. At least Lavender Town had a minimal amount, this is basically just ‘Evil Mario cheats through Victory Road and has a Smash battle with Luigi’. The twist too was meh, I would have wished we actually saw Mewtwo too instead of them just not existing.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Okay Evil Mario probably said more but I’m only counting words spoken in voice lines and not screams like (AAHHH!) or other noises.

MarioMario54321 - 13 lines [19%] (He’s technically the narrator so…)

Evil Mario - 35 lines [51%] (Was Pokemon Champion for like all of one hour, what a loser)

Cerulean Cave Kid Guard - 3 lines [4%] (Literally only exists as a guilt-trip for Mario)

Pokemon Trainers/Civilians/Badge Guards - 0 lines (They exist, nothing much to say.)

Giovani - 6 lines [9%] (He’s no doubt planning something nefarious involving Mario right about now)

Brock - 3 lines [4%] (Hey, he got an individual line I guess! Lucky him.)

Other Gen 1 Gym Leaders - 2 lines [3%] (Yeah they just kind of exist in this one. Also I know that MM hasn’t watched the Pokemon anime because poor Misty doesn’t get a line to herself.)

Lorelei - 1 line [1%] (Exists to be Elite 4 fodder)

Bruno - 1 line [1%] (Exists to be Elite 4 fodder)

Agatha - 1 line [1%] (Wow if that place is so horrible then why are you keeping your job?)

Lance - 2 lines [3%] (The luckiest one, he gets two lines instead of 1)

Luigi - 2 lines [3%] (For as major of a role that he has he somehow speaks so little)

Total Lines: 69

Part 1 Biggest Chad: Mario...Evil Mario - Okay for as bad as he was, swiping eight badges and tearing through the Pokemon League in hours effortlessly is a rather impressive feat nonetheless.

Part 1 Biggest Loser: Lance - Well I was thinking maybe Luigi but at least he ended up putting up somewhat of a fight. Imagine being the final elite 4 member, the opponent before the champion himself...and just giving up before even sending one Pokemon out because of a fat red plumber. Yeah he gets this title easily.

Part 2 Biggest Chad: Luigi - Even though he lost the battle against Evil Mario, he ended up winning the war in the end. And since he technically was never after the treasure to begin with he actually succeeded in his goals.

Part 2 Biggest Loser: Evil Mario - Got beaten up by all the Gym Leaders and Luigi in this video after getting no treasure. At least MM maybe got to keep it when he got inevitably beat up.

Overall Biggest Chad: MarioMario54321 - Unfortunately I have to declare him as this even though he’s a Mary Sue. He effortlessly manipulated the entire video for the views, got Luigi and Evil Mario beaten up and got the treasure in the end. I really can’t say anyone else was more successful.

Overall Biggest Loser: Well gee I wonder who...Evil Mario - The guy performs one of the fastest speedruns of Kanto to ever exist and stomps the entire League on its backside, yes. But he also legit got nothing but bruises, beating, humiliation, and no treasure out of it. Also he sure seems to keep getting this title a lot doesn’t he? This is like his eighth time, and everyone else besides Oiram has only earned this once.

Favorite Quote #1: "This place is definitely worse than Lavender Town's Ghost Tower!" - Evil Mario. (Normally this quote would be true, but since there's no Pokemon here this turns into such a blatantly false statement to add to Evil Mario's other questionable beliefs.)

Favorite Quote #2: "This ain't good........ See ya!!" - MarioMario54321. (The last words that came from his mouth before he got a beating from the Mario Brothers.)

Next time we’re already going back on one of MM’s promises and back to Lavender Town again, in the ‘third part’ of the series!