User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 28

'''Mario Party 3 Bloopers: Waluigi's Island! (Part 1) (February 2, 2008) [Runtime: 6:12]'''

Prelude:

I’m sure that some of you Mario fans know what Mario Party is. And if you don’t, then I’ll sum up the games in two sentences. Mario characters roll dice and go around the board to collect as many stars as possible before the time limit ends. After each turn minigames are played, and chaos ensues. It’s simple, but somehow they managed to pump out more than ten different games from it. Granted, two of those games deviate from the norm so much that fans literally don’t want to be within an inch of it, but it’s more than ten games nonetheless. And, fittingly enough, the first of these games debuted on the Nintendo 64.

We’re not focusing on the first game for this video, though, we’re focusing on the third. And that’s because the third is the first of the games to feature Waluigi as a playable character. You’ll soon realize that MM is a sucker for the Mario Bros and Wario Bros, which is mainly why I think his preferred game for videos like this is Mario Party 3. And even more fittingly, we have a board called Waluigi’s Island, which is the main location of this series.

And before we begin, I just have to say that Mario Party is perhaps one of the worst games you could use to make videos. Simply it’s characters going around the board playing Mario Party, that’s it. You can’t really disguise that fact and it severely limits the creativity you could pull off with other games such as Mario 64 or even Mario Kart 64 for that matter. So, with that in mind, just how limited does Waluigi’s Island seem to be?

See this video first before reading on to get your own properly informed opinion:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8MXK0G9ZpY&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=28

The Main Video:

Well starting off, the plot is about as simple as we can get. The Mario Bros and Wario Bros are playing Mario Party on Waluigi’s Island. Yes, it’s that simple. We start with Mario rolling for placement and getting third, causing him to get a bit mad.

NO Screen Counter: 10. Luckily for everyone else he somehow doesn’t get any murderous intent and the game begins. That’s quite a bit of restraint for Mario actually, he isn’t even beating anyone else up!

And so gameplay commences, and you’ll see rather quickly that MM has brought on the cheat codes quite blatantly into this game. The dice is absolutely rigged to roll 10s each turn, meaning that everyone ends up in the exact same spot. And that spot is a mystery space that runs down a timer, with one more land on a spot needed to explode the whole island. In-game it only takes away coins but apparently it’s a weapon of mass destruction in this story. I actually kind of like that aspect as it shows that MM’s using a bit of his imagination, but it’ll be a while before the bomb’s actually in play.

A minigame starts after the first round is over, with everyone playing water bumper boats. And, like just about any extraneous competition event they play Scatman music over it. Scatman Counter: 16. Actually it’s hilarious how much Mario outspeeds them in this footage, he’s clearly overlapping them while they’re just driving around in a caterpillar-like formation. That’s just what happens when Mario’s controlled by the only human player in this match-up.

In the second round, there’s quite a bit wrong that goes on. Waluigi and Wario roll doubles, and their second dice isn’t actually rigged to be a ten. However the second dice doesn’t end up mattering anyway and they only move ten regardless.

Now, I have to explain that in the middle of Waluigi’s Island is a center board. That board allows players to move to multiple pathways depending on where the arrow points. Unfortunately for Waluigi he ends up landing while the arrow pointed right where he came from, basically making the jump pointless. He even questions why he put that middle piece on his island. However afterwards he ends up getting an item from a Toad so I’m guessing he quickly forgot his aggravation afterwards.

Wario on the other hand doesn’t even attempt a jump and ends up landing on Waluigi’s space, getting three warp blocks from...well it’s not Bowser Junior, I can say that much. For some reason in the early Mario Parties there were miniature Bowsers called ‘Baby Bowsers’, and they basically served to be Bowser’s direct minions. So I have to question if they’re siblings of Bowser Jr. And if they are, then what happened to them in the modern continuity? Was there a mass purging of their race? Why are they all called Bowser? Was Bowser Jr somehow the last survivor of their extinction?

Anyways, getting past needless questions, Mario takes his turn and somehow doesn’t roll a ten.

He attempts the jump but somehow gets too scared. Maybe he feared the water surrounding that middle piece and thought back to the Metal Cap Cave’s river. This makes him land on a mystery space, setting off the bomb warned about earlier. This causes Mario to flee the scene, grabbing the kart and...wait a minute he had a kart there the entire time? I guess it’s apparently illegal to use it during the actual game so I’ll let it slide for now.

What I can’t let slide, however, is that Waluigi’s Island is somehow the beach track we keep seeing in these Mario Kart 64 levels. So you’re telling me that this island was Waluigi’s Island the entire time? I’m pretty sure the track’s name is Koopa Troopa Beach, not Waluigi’s Island. In fact Waluigi wasn’t even in Mario Kart 64 to begin with, I don’t even think he existed back then. Somehow Waluigi slaughtered all the Koopa Troopa owners and claimed this island as his territory. And he must have done it in-between the Luigi Kart Bloopers and this one because I can’t imagine he’d let Mario and Luigi drive in this place without serious repercussions.

Mario tries jumping away but finds out that he can’t make it back into town with the ramp. Wait a minute, that ramp landed Luigi in Rainbow Road the last time! I’d say that’s even further away than the castle, it’s literally in space! I guess this confirms that Luigi’s a better driver than Mario. So our pathetic red  plumber loses his kart to the middle of the seas and swims an entire current all the way back to the castle. Obviously the sea is just the little pond section of Dire, Dire Docks and he’s going in a circle around the place. But it’s at least an attempt and MM could have done way, way worse.

Mario ends up back at the castle near instantly after swimming an entire ocean...and now I have to question how he swam that thing. I guess it’s just the water that moves that he’s powerless against? Or maybe the fear of the bomb was so great that it made him activate his physics-breaking powers in the water out of fear? Regardless he apparently has to go into the castle to hide from the bomb. Wait, is it that big that you need to use the castle basement as a bunker?

Geez, if it’s that huge, then that bomb must have been an atomic bomb! Why would Waluigi have one of those on his island? Is he secretly a terrorist? Like, no, I think he might be a terrorist. Why else would he need to take over an island other than to hide one of his atomic weapons for usage against the Mushroom Kingdom? And then somehow he got roped into a Mario Party game and accidentally didn’t remember to deactivate said bomb. That has to be super awkward for him I’d bet.

But even more concerning than that, did Mario really leave the Wario Bros and his own brother to die on that island? Okay granted I’d expect that from him given that he’s absolutely heartless, but still! And how did Evil Mario know that thing was an atomic bomb? In fact, how did all of them know that thing was atomic? Is Waluigi not only a terrorist but also the absolute worst secret keeper of all time? Did he accidentally slip that there was an atomic bomb, and they just couldn’t quit the Mario Party game because the Millenia Star (host of Mario Party 3) or MM would smite them otherwise?

Anyways the island blows up in a stock png explosion. Riveting.

Evil Mario comes out of hiding, safe from the bomb. There’s no radiation so I’m going to assume that the blast radius was constricted to the island and the seas right next to Peach’s Castle. I don’t know how the kingdom is going to recover since there’s a giant radiation zone next door and the water is basically undrinkable now. Not to mention the one good character Luigi is probably dead right now so that’s a huge temporary loss to the kingdom. Wait a minute...that’s right! Wario had those three warp blocks! Never mind, then they’re certainly not dead. In fact I even think they intentionally left Mario to die on the island instead of the other way around! I don’t blame them one bit, he kind of deserved it, and I totally think he would have abandoned them regardless.

You’d think this would be the end, but somehow there’s a second part and the video ends. As a side note, this is the first time that MM uses Super Mario Galaxy music. Prepare to hear it a lot. It’s better than the Pokemon music, though, so I’m not complaining.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Evil Mario - 16 lines [16] (Detonated an atomic bomb and got away scot free, because of course)

Terrorist Waluigi - 8 lines [8] (Well it is his island, of course he’d be number 2)

Luigi - 4 lines [4] (Poor Luigi, dead last just like in the video)

“Fat Guy” Wario - 6 lines [6] (At least he’s in a place where he’s more appreciated)

Millenia Star - 0 lines [0] (I take it he’s forcing this party onto them because I don’t know why they’d agree otherwise.)

“Buy my stuff now” Toad - 0 lines [0] (He’s a shopkeeper of Mario Party. Also he barely appears so that’s all we’ll say about him.)

Tiny Bowser Deluxe Clone - 0 lines [0] (No really, is he supposed to be another Bowser Jr.? I need answers!)

Biggest Chad: Wario - The dude got three warp blocks and basically saved everyone but Mario on the island.

Biggest Loser: Waluigi - Mario may have gotten cold feet and may have been left behind on the island, but at least he didn’t lose his one atomic bomb to the whims of Mario Party. That, and his island didn’t end up going up in debris.

Favorite Quote: “IDIOT YOU!” - Waluigi (The voice of a man all too concerned with his own installed atomic bomb. Also quite a way of insulting his own brother, I might add.)

But what remains of the aftermath of this bomb? Find out in Part 2!