User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 15

Mario Bloopers: Lavender Town (Part 3) (October 31, 2007) [Runtime: 7:49]

Prelude:

Well, I hope you weren’t already shaken by the poor quality of the previous Lavender Town videos. Because today we’re going to be taking a look at the ‘third part’ of this series. Originally there wasn’t going to be a third part as said by MM himself, but he must have soon realized that the FireRed and LeafGreen versions of Pokemon Generation 1 existed and could be emulated on the Virtual Boy Advance. You see, one thing you’ll notice that MM is through multiple stories is that he’s a bit of a completionist. And since he already covered two different versions of Lavender Town in the previous story, it’s only fitting he covers another one by just slapping a third part to the story.

For all intensive purposes, though, I count this as separate from the first two parts. The story itself feels more like a sequel than a continuation for starters, which also carries over visually. And not only that, but I think the plot and visuals are marginally better than the first two in quality. The key word is ‘marginally’, though, as there’s still some issues that I’ll touch on. But in my honest opinion, this is certainly better than the story that came before. So, let’s get into our next dive into the horrid world of Lavender Town!

See this video first though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd5_513YA-8&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=15

The Main Video:

We start with Parakarry delivering Mario...sorry, Evil Mario the newspaper...oh hey Parakarry’s in this. That’s a cool Easter Egg for Paper Mario fans, glad to see you’re here. Evil Mario and Luigi are just chilling at home and reading the paper when Evil Mario gets word of a horrid thing. A thing that makes him grunt with rage.

Somehow Lavender Tower (it’s actually Pokemon Tower but screw it, Lavender Tower sounds more right to me) returned. Evil Mario expresses disbelief over it all and questions how it isn’t in pieces after being blown up.

I would say that since the tower was off-screen it could have just not been destroyed, but Evil Mario ruined that theory by looking towards its general direction in the last story so I just have to assume he really did destroy it. So yeah, how did it come back? Maybe this is after another three-year skip and Evil Mario’s just coming back to wipe it out again, I dunno. Really the residents shouldn’t have built that tower again, that’s basically like asking for war with the murderous red plumber. So our antagonist walks up in disbelief towards the tower, with the world now being in GBA sprites instead of GB sprites. This of course makes Evil Mario lose all of his space manipulation powers since GBA cheat codes are far more restrictive. Also he notes the music isn’t as bad, and yeah the GBA tune is less intrusive and more somber so I agree.

So Evil Mario sets foot inside, saying that it was only three days ago since he blew it up. ...wait a minute, three days? You’re telling me that this tower somehow came back after three days? I would say that our main character just injured the top, but from the way he sounded it seemed like the whole thing blew up. So somehow it came back in three days. And since it’s completely impossible for Lavender Town’s population of normal human beings to reconstruct it, and I’d think there’d be Toad civilians there if they led the project, then that means…

Oh dear god it’s ACTUALLY a haunted tower! Like, no, it has to be cursed in order to be repaired like that, because I can’t imagine anyone else other than the ghosts to inhabit that place. Which means there’s something far more sinister about Lavender Tower than I saw in the last series, and I have to apologize to Evil Mario for doubting his claims on it being that haunted. Clearly that thing isn’t a natural building and probably does need to be vanquished as soon as possible, because I don’t think those ghosts are safe. Although I still won’t forgive him for killing all those innocents in the building, that was entirely his bad.

So Evil Mario gets back at the top and encounters Marowak again, who explains that she brought the tower back to drive Evil Mario insane.

Which...I mean that’s not too wise of a plan really, why are you continuing to piss off the guy who utterly brutalized you the last time? You’re lucky he doesn’t have his Silph Scope, otherwise you would have been sent right back to Hell pretty quickly. As for how Marowak and the other ghosts aren’t really dead, Marowak explains that ghosts don’t really die. Which I mean...they’re already dead so that’s fair, but I think that being put into a coma for a ghost could count as a sort of death-like fate? I dunno I just don’t feel like removing that death from Evil Mario’s spree. Also I’m going to note that Evil Mario looks too much like Red when facing these creatures, so much so that I almost can’t believe this is Evil Mario. I guess when he goes into the Pokemon world he has to get himself checked in with a Pokemon Trainer body every time for something, much like how MM sort of looks like Evil Mario?

Anyways since Evil Mario doesn’t have the Silph Scope he gets booted out of the top window again. And since he doesn’t have physics-breaking powers he ends up in a coma from the fall. And all I have to say is nice work, Marowak! Although wait a minute...nah Marowak can’t leave her tower, otherwise things wouldn’t make sense. So Evil Mario asks Luigi where the scope is since he last left it with him. And Luigi, being completely useless, says that it was stolen by Marowak. Welp that’s expected, the good people in this universe are usually incapable morons unable to accomplish anything. But more importantly…

YOU DUMBASS, Marowak! If you could leave the tower, why didn’t you kill Evil Mario while he was in a coma? You legitimately could have WON by doing that, you could have saved everyone else the misery of having to live with him! Or you could have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom and made it your own ghostly world where everything is chaos and misery, but dammit you’d at least be accomplishing something! But no, you just leave Evil Mario to live.

Okay, okay, maybe Marowak has something else in mind. Maybe she’s letting him live to make him suffer, to let him eternally know that he’ll never be able to defeat her again. So obviously she held onto that Silph Scope, right? Well...no. She gave it to Oiram. Oiram. OIRAM! How in god’s name...you can’t trust Oiram with a bottle of alcohol much less something as bloody important as the thing that can make you be able to be stopped. Why are you trusting this in the hands of someone who has lost miserably twice against Evil Mario and whose only goal is to kill Evil Mario? With someone who can’t even beat a current of water? And in the hands of someone Evil Mario is very, very likely to target. I kid you not when I say he is perhaps one of the WORST choices you could have made. It’s literally almost the equivalent to just handing it over to Evil Mario. Hell in the video even EVIL MARIO acknowledges that was a stupid move.

Welp I was team Ghosts but after that horrid play I’m rooting for neither Evil Mario’s team nor the Ghosts. But thankfully Marowak’s blunder introduces someone that I can root for, Oiram. Hi Oiram, it’s been a while since the last one. I knew you’d survive the last encounter too, it was kind of obvious. Sorry that you’re here, though, you definitely got screwed over thanks to some blundering ghost who doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’m not expecting you to win at all Oiram but please at least get Evil Mario to one stock, that’s all I’m hoping for at this point. Winning would be nice but, sadly, Oiram winning is just not meant to be.

As expected, Evil Mario goes once again to the Tower in the Sky to fight Oiram. We start the fight with...Scatman Music again? Scatman Counter: 7. Okay, MM, why? This. Is. Not. Fight. Music. Although at this point I guess Scatman is Evil Mario’s good luck charm music so why not at this point. I guess if there’s any positive to this still being played, its consistency. Evil Mario vows to get rid of Oiram while Oiram just wants Evil Mario to surrender. Oh wow even Oiram’s too confused to want to be fighting right now! Poor guy literally wasn’t prepared to fight Evil Mario at all and he’s fending for his life because of some bad luck. I’m so sorry, Oiram, this truly is the worst luck you’ve had so far.

A cut to thirty minutes later (not needed since this fight is 3-stock and should wrap up 10 minutes tops, that or Oiram won and MM can’t let that happen) and we see both are neck and neck. Both have one stock, which means that Oiram has succeeded my expectations. Good job, Oiram! That being said he still loses, though, and Evil Mario is allowed to go right up to Lavender Tower with his Silph Scope at hand. The ghosts, understandably, don’t want to mess with Evil Mario this time and wisely choose not to encounter him (well actually it’s just MM’s one cheat code use let’s be real, getting that high up without a single encounter would take astronomical luck).

Marowak, on the other hand, gets so tired of Evil Mario that she finally threatens to kill him. ...THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU EARLIER? And once she’s revealed she of course states that she should have kept the Silph Scope. ...THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU? This is your own fault for being  a humongous dumbass with an IQ barely above that of Luigi’s. Yeah go ahead and get killed by Evil Mario again, you really do deserve it for being a moron. With the nuisance gone, Evil Mario goes to the top floor and discovers Team Rocket there.

Evil Mario speculates they were the ones that killed all those Pokemon and made the graveyard in the tower, simply to haunt people. Which...well if the place really is haunted then Team Rocket being Pokemon murderers would be the way to rile them up like this. It’s plausible, but they weren’t involved in the last one so I’m assuming they didn’t make the towers or ghosts in the first place, and that Marowak has her own agency. That being said, though, it actually makes sense for Team Rocket to be behind their return.

Giovani would obviously want Evil Mario’s power for himself, but since he’s so powerful it would be better to harness his power as a ghost. So they simply brought back Lavender Tower and expected for Marowak to find a way to kill Evil Mario while he was there. Unfortunately for them, though, I suppose they didn’t expect for Marowak to be the biggest dumbass villain of all time and so three of their guards are caught in the process. Evil Mario declares he’ll kill their leader, Giovani, later on. Which I don’t think happens on-screen so I’m going to pretend Evil Mario forgot to kill him. And so what do you think happens to these guards…

Yeah you guessed it Evil Mario murders all three of them with gunshots. Yes, Evil Mario is still packing. And hell after every single of them die he gives out a villain’s high-pitched laugh at their deaths. I Kid. You. Not. He. LAUGHS. Evil Mario Kill Count: 28. Granted these Team Rocket guys aren’t the best people, if they’re implied to kill Pokemon then they’re pretty vicious criminals. But still it’s unfortunate they’re killed, and by Evil Mario of all things. That laugh alone is just icing on the massive loads of proof that Evil Mario’s a villain, saying he isn’t is a straight-up wrong answer. Also screw you Evil Mario, do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to write ‘Evil’ before your name each and every single time? I’m just waiting for a time where I can actually use that name ‘Mario’ again. You know, for the real Mario, not this dastardly wanna-be.

So he ends up meeting Mr. Fuji who gives a Poke Flute to Evil Mario.

Normally it does something else but in this timeline it destroys an entire tower and all its ghosts forever I guess. And of course, instead of giving any warning for the civilians to come out, Evil Mario attempts to reach 50 casualties by playing the flute near immediately. Fortunately I suspect the Mayor got wind of his return from the tower and evacuated those innocent civilians inside before Evil Mario could do a thing because in the next shot we get a still image of the whole city with no civilians there.

It claims that Evil Mario “ran away faster than Sonic ever could.” Not only does this confirm my dreaded fear that Sonic does indeed exist in this timeline, but also that Evil Mario has a speed feat that literally would mean Oiram stands no chance. I’m only going to assume this is in the most terrifying of situations though and that he can only use it for a split second, otherwise he’s literally a combat god. And given the rest of the civilians aren’t there either I assume they ran at a similar speed.

Also the effect of the tower blowing up is...well at least we get to see it explode this time.

Or at least, we see a stock image of an explosion placed on the tower and hear explosion sounds. Definitely not the most riveting effect ever made, and quite honestly I’m not sure if it’s better than the tower being off screened in the last one. I think Evil Mario’s look at it was convincing enough to make us know it was gone. And yeah the effect is so static and lifeless here that in this case, less was more. The credits roll by next, ending this video.

Well, I said the plot was better but that was because the time frame was more reasonable. There’s still idiocy across the board. And the effects were better, but even with better effects the tower’s offscreen demise was more believable. Also Marowak was way more of a threat in the last story, and I didn’t even take her as that much of a threat to begin with, so that’s saying something. So all in all, this is only marginally better than the last one. There’s only small bits and pieces that are better, but overall it’s still a terrible plot all around.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Parakarry - 1 line [2%] (Ah cool, you got to speak a line in this.)

Evil Mario - 37 lines [71%] (Of course since he’s in all of the video.)

Luigi - 4 lines [8%] (Got a decent part this time around, but was still an idiot)

Lavender Town Civilians - 0 lines (Why are you still living in this town, flee while you still can!)

Ghosts - 0 lines (Rest in more pepperonis ghosts.)

Ghost Leader/Marowak - 7 lines [13%] (Technically the main antagonist.)

Oiram - 1 line [2%] (My poor Oiram, why did they have to drag you into this?)

Goldeen - 0 lines (PFFFF wow Evil Mario has absolutely damn abysmal luck with Poke Balls, no wonder he doesn’t want to wield Pokemon.)

Lavender Tower Lady - 1 line [2%] (Confirms that these bodies inside of Lavender Tower are real people, thank you.)

Team Rocket Members - 0 lines (Guys only existed to be murdered horribly)

Mr. Fuji - 1 line [2%] (Only exists to give Evil Mario a Deus Ex Machina...I mean a magic flute.)

Total Lines: 52

Biggest Chad: Oiram - Yeah he lost but unlike the previous times he actually didn’t want to get involved this time, he legit just wanted to save his own skin from getting beaten again. And I’d say for someone who takes 2 stocks off of Evil Mario with no preparation, warning or even drive to win, that’s impressive stuff he’s done.

Biggest Loser: Marowak - Is the dumbest idiot in this entire video who neither killed Evil Mario when she had the chance nor kept the Silph Scope for herself. And to no one’s surprise she died because of it, good job.

Favorite Quote: "That Ghost Leader thought of everything! But he's an idiot. I can take Oiram anyday!!" - Evil Mario. (Yeah, my sentiments exactly Evil Mario. I would call it 100% accurate but Marowak is a she, not a he. Not sure how you forgot that.)

Next time we’re still not done with Pokemon yet. We’ve got a tower to look forward to, more specifically Mario’s...erm, Evil Mario’s tower!