User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 50

'''IGIUL! (Part 2) (March 14th, 2008) [Runtime: 6:25. Total Runtime: 13:55]'''

Prelude:

Last time, we finally saw a villain in the MM universe who un-ironically had an intimidation factor, Igiul. That came from the fact that he killed our supposed hero not just once, but three separate times. So after such a demonstration, the rest of the four parts are bound to be just as good with competent villains helming the movie, right? Unfortunately, like I said, the previous part was the highlight of the whole series. It’s all downhill from here. Thankfully, however, it shouldn’t be too much downhill.

See this video first before reading on to get your own properly informed opinion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWJFlXGXlwA&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=50

The Main Video:

Since Mario died for the third time in the last video, we find him in heaven. Yes, Heaven exists in the MM universe, and I’ll go ahead and spoil that this is supposed to be the Christian version of Heaven since I know Jesus appears later. Basically, God explains to Mario that all good people go to heaven and all bad people go to hell. I have so many issues with this that I’m just going to bullet-point them instead of spending any paragraphs on them, because this makes so little sense:


 * No, Mario is not a good person, are you kidding me? He’s the most evil person in the entire universe besides MarySue54321. How did he get into heaven, he should be in the lowest possible level of hell right now. God somehow must have gotten Mario and Oiram confused.
 * Being a good person is not enough to get into Heaven according to Christianity, you need to accept Jesus as your lord and savior so that he forgives your sins. In fact MM’s going to get this wrong so many times I’m going to start an inaccuracy counter. Wrong Christian Facts Counter: 1.
 * Why does God feel the need to tell Mario about this information if he’s died so many times already? This seems more like exposition for the audience than it does relevant information, even Mario is confused as to why God is talking about this information again. Also I’m confused as to why we need to introduce Heaven, it’s not really relevant to the rest of the series so this could have been cut out honestly.

After spending all of thirty seconds in Heaven, Mario dips out to come back to life after deciding to do so. Surprisingly this isn’t a concern because 1-up Mushrooms exist, and I suppose that’s just how they work in this universe. Once Mario comes down, he decides to go in through the castle basement since he figures Igiul or his boss could be waiting at the front door. Which, considering how many times Mario came back to life only to get his ass destroyed by Igiul almost immediately afterwards, is probably a smart choice.

Meanwhile, Igiul gets the treasure by investigating the four chests, each of which contain a fourth of the treasure each. Wait, they’re just in the chests of Jolly Roger Bay? I know MM didn’t have much else in Jolly Roger Bay to use, but at least come up with something a bit more creative like having them dug beneath the rock or something. Anyway, now I know that the treasure was placed there 100% by MarySue and that this is all his ruse because if it wasn’t, there’s no way nobody else didn’t find this by now.

After Igiul becomes a trillionaire, he gloats about how he’ll use the cash for his evil plans. I’m guessing he needs it to get rid of MarySue54321 since Mario is absolutely pathetic compared to him, and I wouldn’t blame Igiul in that case. I can only see two things he’d use that much money on. He could try to buy the whole Mushroom Kingdom legally, which wouldn’t work because we saw how well Oiram’s rule went before. Which means he’s definitely trying to buy the Megation lasers from the Penguin Village since I can’t think of anything else that costs that much or would possibly pose a threat to MM. A smart plan to be sure, but a bit of clarity would have been nice on the writing end of things.

Meanwhile, Mario tries to capture MIPS, who immediately says that he won’t tell Mario about Igiul since he promised Igiul not to tell. Which means that somehow, MIPS knows something about Igiul and Igiul didn’t decide to kill MIPS for whatever reason. This is extremely dumb from a story-writing perspective, because it makes both the protagonist and the antagonist seem dumber in the process. Why did Igiul not kill MIPS? If he knew that MIPS knew something about him, and MIPS 100% encountered him before, there’s no excuse for Igiul just to not murder MIPS.

Also, MIPS’s message to Mario amounts to him telling him that defeating Igiul is somehow tied to Luigi. This could have gone over better if Mario figured it out himself since that would have seemed like an obvious conclusion to make, plus it would have made Mario seem smarter than he is and Igiul seem more competent. So, to salvage this, I’m just going to say that MIPS is Igiul’s secret partner who unluckily got caught and had to say all those things just to save himself from being murdered. Mario, after sparing MIPS, realizes that Luigi’s currently on a kart ride, meaning that Igiul timed his attack rather perfectly. Nice, at least Igiul’s looking out for his own weaknesses.

So, what does Mario do once he’s learned this information? Surely he’ll either wait for Luigi to come back to the castle, or he’ll try heading off to find Luigi so that he can warn him of Igiul’s arrival. Both of which would be sensible plans since this would put Mario out of danger of being murdered yet again.

Yep, Mario just pulled a Luigi on Igiul for some reason because apparently Mario wasn’t stupid enough. Now he’s most certainly going to murder you a fourth time because of how insanely dumb you were, you gigantic moron. Surely enough, after waiting a bit likely because Igiul had to process the shock of just how stupid Mario was, Igiul refuses to tell him the plan and decides to try killing him. Elsewhere, we have MarySue54321 using one of the most accurate lines of the series.

Also, I’m totally going to use this image from now on in any MM video that I think deserves it, because this image basically sums up all those videos in a way that I never could. MarySue currently abandons Mario to being murdered against by Igiul because of course he is, he’s not going to get as long of a video if he steps in and ends things immediately. Meanwhile, Luigi is riding around in filler Mario Kart 64 footage because the plot needs him to not be here yet. But hey, at least Luigi’s making his first appearance after being absent from the whole first part, which is nice. I don’t have much issue with his inclusion here I suppose.

Meanwhile, Igiul gets royally chewed out by his boss because somehow Mario escaped this time. I don’t know how he managed to do so, maybe Igiul was so dumbfounded at Mario’s stupidity that he just didn’t have the willpower to try this time. Regardless, the voice gets angry and threatens to keep Igiul’s soul should he fail again. Which begs the question, if Igiul is afraid of this guy and is taking orders from him, who is this guy? I’ll admit it’s rather nice setup for the boss since it leaves it to the imagination just how frightening he must be. But it’s also a bit undercut by how hilariously the scene progresses, through no fault of MM’s.

But at this point, since Igiul has his soul stolen, the most likely guess I would have made at this point would have been the devil. Clearly the devil would want Mario dead since God apparently likes him, and Igiul would be the type to sell his soul out in revenge for his brother. Plus since God was established earlier and has to be important somehow, that’s what I would assume. I know that’s not who his boss actually is but for right now let’s pretend it’s the devil since that makes the most sense. Wait, but does that mean Yoshi is the devil?

Meanwhile, Mario hides in the Eyerok room, where he debates over Igiul’s boss since he knows he’s clearly the bigger threat. Meanwhile, Igiul accurately tracks down his footprints to Tall, Tall Mountain despite that being a heavily rocky terrain and despite no footprints being visible to us. Also, he deduces using logic that Mario has to be in the waterfall since his footprints stop in front of it, which means that Igiul has done the rare feat of passing the bar of competency. Nice work, Igiul, keep it up!

It also turns out that Igiul was completely right in figuring out where Mario was, even though they’re in two completely separate maps. Which means that the mountain from the Secret Waterfall was actually the normal map and not an alternate, and that the cavern in that map just randomly takes people to other parts of the game and back again using contrived means. Also, this means my cannon powder hallucination explanation still holds up, and I’m happy with that. Regardless, Mario flees into a slide, where he immediately fails despite the fact that he should be  a pro at this.

After that series of insanely unintelligent decisions, Mario decides to go up the endless stairs, because he figures that Igiul hasn’t collected seventy stars yet. This is actually a decent idea from him, because since Igiul is new here, that is a possibility and is at least worth trying. It would have been better if Mario hid up there while Igiul didn’t know he was still alive though, but at the very least Mario isn’t completely brain-dead. And that’s where the part ends, so we don’t get to see how Igiul fares.

So, how is this episode? It’s mediocre, really. Mario’s the dumbest protagonist alive right here, but everyone else acted competent enough to where I felt somewhat invested. It’s a miracle what a somewhat competent villain can do for a story.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Idiot Mario - 27 lines [64] (How low is his IQ seriously)

Superchad Igiul - 15 lines [37] (Continuing to be threatening, I like it)

MarySue54321 - 4 lines [11] (Please leave)

Igiul’s Boss - 6 lines [11] (Maybe Yoshi)

God? - 3 lines [3] (I have my doubts you’re actually God since you put Mario in heaven)

MIPS - 5 lines [5] (I still think he’s Igiul’s accomplice)

Luigi - 4 lines [4] (Probably going to be the true main protagonist)

Yoshi - 0 lines [0] (Probably ???)

Lakitu - 1 line [1] (Oh hey you have a line, nice)

Biggest Chad: Igiul’s Boss - Anyone who can instill fear into someone like Igiul and control his soul is a major chad, and Igiul is only not in contention because he didn’t kill MIPS.

Biggest Loser: Idiot Mario - Behold, Mario’s 20th time getting this, because he did nothing but make terrible decisions in this episode. Why is it that Mario either has to be the dumbest person alive or the most evil person alive, can we just have Mario be Mario for once?

Favorite Quote: “This is bad.” - MarySue54321 (My end image for quite a few of the upcoming reviews).

That was the end of my 50th review! I can’t believe I’ve gotten this far, it’s honestly been a bit of a ride watching all of these videos. It was fun reacting to the early writing, how innocent MM’s writing was back then, and how best to construct something logical from his writing. Next time, we’ll continue with Igiul!