User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 22

'''Mario VS Oiram 3: The Final Battle (Part 3/3) (December 11, 2007) [Runtime: 4:51. Total Runtime: 18:27, which surpasses Mario’s Tower as the longest story yet.]'''

Prelude:

After a slight detour with holiday stuff, we finally get the third part of Mario vs. Oiram! However I find it interesting to note that this video still ended up coming nearly two weeks before it was actually Christmas. Therefore I have to question why this didn’t come first and the holiday special didn’t come until later since it seems MM had ample time for both. It really doesn’t matter now, though, as we have a final part to get through. Unfortunately this is perhaps the most boring part of the story because most of it is just a Smash Bros. fight against Oiram. It’s kind of unavoidable to be fair, but I feel that I’m not going to have much to talk about. So let’s just get on with it.

See this video first though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnwEPodHCQs&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=22

The Main Video:

Now, before I even begin this part, I have to go back to the last part and speak about how monumentally damaging it’s ending was. If you recall in the last part Mario was hacked to be better than Oiram by a fair margin, meaning that in a month’s time Mario would be able to easily beat Oiram. However by doing so, MM has basically already revealed what’s going to happen in this part of the story. We know that Mario is going to win against Oiram because MM’s character has literally made it impossible for any other scenario to occur.

So throughout this entire part, there’s no tension. At the very least, in the previous two Mario vs. Oiram stories, it was never implied that Mario was simply better than Oiram. Sure Mario was inevitably going to win since he was the main character, but that was more MM using the standard cliches of good vs. evil. There was nothing in the story that made Mario completely confident that he would win against Oiram, and just about every time up until Lavender Town Part 3 he took Oiram completely seriously. And even in the latter story, Mario’s confidence stemmed from a completely justifiable truth that he had beaten Oiram numerous times before. He himself believed he would easily take on Oiram, and it wasn’t a belief that was confirmed by the plot until the battle was over.

Here, though, he’s just told that he’ll be stronger than Oiram in the coming match. It sets up Mario as the victor ahead of time without actually getting into the fight itself. In other words we could literally have a five second text read ‘Mario won the fight against Oiram’ and it would change things about as much as seeing the actual fight itself. This is absolutely horrid storytelling for any climactic fight and one that zaps all the tension right out of it. If you wanted to fix said tension, the best thing to do would have been to make Mario actually train.

In fact, Mario training could have led to a lot of things. It could have led to Mario actually questioning himself, learning that what his Doppelganger was doing was actually effective. It could make him realize that it’s not the method that’s wrong but how to apply that hard effort and the results that come from it. It also could help us question if Mario’s training would be enough to defeat Oiram in the end, and thus make the fight worth watching. And it would lessen the cheapness of Mary Sue 54321’s deus ex machina in the last part too. But alas, that was not to be, and we’re stuck with a nearly empty video.

The good thing about it is that we’re not dealing with Scatman music, we still have the vs Steven battle music. Unfortunately since it’s a Smash battle I don’t have much to comment on. The only thing I can say is that Mario KOs one of Oiram’s stocks by sending him flying throughout the whole stage but that’s it. So, have this picture highlight reel instead:

After somehow knocking out two of Oiram’s stocks in five seconds (impossible unless Oiram self-destructed twice), Oiram begins to question how Mario is better than him. Once Mario states that he basically screwed with Oiram’s power to make it weak and his own to be strong, Oiram understandably is enraged at Mario.

And really, I don’t blame Oiram for being utterly mad at him now. Imagine putting in all that hard work only to find out that your enemy has a Mary Sue friend that can edit your own power to make you weak. The poor guy didn’t deserve to get beaten like this, not one bit. Also Mario outright says that Oiram was cheating, which is the most hypocritical thing I’ve perhaps heard from Mario’s mouth. So apparently working out is cheating, but literally hacking a person’s body isn’t? I’m sorry but I’m with Oiram here, this was blatantly unfair to him.

So being cornered by Evil Mario, the music changes twice to the Mr. L battle theme and then the Victory Road theme from Pokemon. However, for some reason Evil Mario decides to change it to Route 26/27 which is infinitely less fitting music for this climactic showdown. You have a god-awful taste in music, Evil Mario, I’ve learned that’s a fact by now. So anyways Oiram loses, shocking absolutely no-one, and I’m stuck wondering if justice really could prevail in this world. There’s a rumor of an Igiul perhaps existing, which isn’t foreshadowing at all for a future story or anything. Nope, totally not. Although there is a good point in Luigi not appearing for a while. I don’t blame him, though, he doesn’t deserve to be character assassinated like the rest.

As for what happened to Oiram, his comment about the flagpole comes back into play and he ends up being impaled. Except somehow his impalement ends up making him explode on the flagpole instead of being skewered through which makes absolutely no sense at all.

But the important thing is that he finally died. '''Mario Victim Count: 32. Flagpole Count: 3.''' We end with an image of some random person appearing, and if you couldn’t guess from the poorly Microsoft painted ‘L’ on his hat it’s supposed to be Igiul. Except his colors are completely wrong here, he has green sideburns and shoes instead of brown. Which means technically this isn’t even Igiul, and thus I shall call him ‘Beta Igiul’.

So that was Mario vs Oiram 3. I might have said at the beginning that this was better than the last two, but in all honesty I think I’ve changed my mind. This is the worst out of all of the three stories, the Spiderman 3 of our trilogy. I don’t know what past me was thinking but they’re wrong; they’re so, so wrong in calling this the best. Okay to be fair this is the one that had the most effort put into it and the one with the most original plot, I’ll say. But I didn’t realize how horribly MM’s involvement in the plot ruined absolutely everything. The method made no sense, it came out of nowhere, and the method to beat the antagonist was blatantly more villainous than anything the antagonist ever did and blatantly both unfair and anticlimactic. Part 3 is literally a filler episode for everything until the last twenty seconds, somehow the two generic predictable fights in the last two stories felt more like a climax than this one.

Granted, if we take the first half up to Oiram winning, then this would easily have been the best one. From Oiram actually attempting to commit a criminal act to him winning in the end and even with the difference in battleground, this series had the potential to be the best of the three. And heck, if Mario won predictably like in the last two videos, I wouldn’t even complain about it too much since it’s relatively harmless. But the second half of this series is perhaps some of the worst of what I’ve seen so far, and it actively made me appreciate Evil Mario of all people as the main character and not MM. In fact I’ll be honest, after what’s happened here, I don’t want to see Mary Sue 54321 ever again in these videos.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Oiram - 5 lines [41, 38%] (He spoke more lines than Mario! In the end, Oiram gets the last laugh.)

Evil Mario - 3 lines [39, 36%] (Literally everything he says in this part is absolutely awful and should not have been said, he should have been mute this episode.)

Toad - 0 lines [4, 4%] (He was still somehow ignored this time, presumably because MM just wanted to see Bowser die like a chump.)

Bowser - 0 lines [2, 2%] (I doubt MM told Mario to spare Bowser so he’s probably still dead.)

Peach - 0 lines [0] (Isn’t even mentioned to be saved in this part, it’s almost as if her getting kidnapped was extremely unnecessary to the plot or something. Anyways assuming she’s useful at all I assume her plans were foiled by Oiram’s death and she’s sulking in the fact that her life keeps getting ruined. There’s another theory one of my friends really likes where Oiram ended up kidnapping her not only to piss off Mario but also to...do things that Mario would never do to her. Though considering what Mario is now I think she may have consented out of desperation.)

Extra Smash Pokemon (Chansey, Electrode, Charmander, Venusaur, Goldeen, Meowth, Porygon) - 0 lines [0] (Say hi to Porygon I guess)

Mary Sue 54321 - 0 lines [18, 17%] (Thank the heavens he doesn’t appear in this part)

Lakitu - 0 lines [4, 4%] (He had one job in this, and that was filming Oiram’s death)

The Guy who totally isn’t Igiul I Swear - 0 lines [0] (Actually Beta Igiul)

Total Lines: 108 (That is...a whole lot less than I was expecting. Goes to show how much of this was Smash Bros. footage. Anyways, Secret of the Waterfall still reigns supreme as the most dialogue-heavy part)

Part Biggest Chad: Electrode - In that Smash Bros fight he got a stock off of Mario, which is the most impressive thing that happened in this video. Not even Oiram got a stock off of him because he was too busy getting curb stomped. Oiram outright died and Mario’s lines alone automatically lost him this award so Electrode’s only competition for this was Igiul really.

Part Biggest Loser: Mario - Okay Oiram lost and actually died, but every single line Mario states is so blatantly horrible that I’m giving this to him by default. He had to resort to hacks to beat Oiram and has a horrible taste in music, what more do I need to say.

Overall Biggest Chad: Oiram - You saw this coming. Who else deserves to have this award but the main protagonist of this universe? He finally beat Mario and needed Mary Sue Deus Ex Machinas for the red plumber to win. As far as I’m concerned, Oiram completely won.

Overall Biggest Loser: Peach - Was kidnapped offscreen and wasn’t even mentioned until after Bowser died. In fact I was actually considering not even making her a part of the cast, that’s how unimportant she was in this whole series.

Favorite Quote: "LOL Oiram's dead! :)" - Some biased narrator. (Clearly biased towards Evil Mario, what a shame. Oiram deserved better.)

With Oiram finally dead and over with, it’s time to move onto more videos next time!