User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 17

'''Mario Bloopers: Mario’s Tower Part 2 (November 7, 2007) [Runtime: 4:54. Total Runtime: 14:40]'''

Prelude:

Well it’s time for the second and supposedly final part of the Mario’s Tower storyline. It’s not really the final part because the deleted scene is practically just Part 3, but let’s not dwell on that. Thankfully this video isn’t as heavy on the Pokemon stuff, which is a nice change of pace since the last video had heavy amounts of unnecessary gameplay in it. But unfortunately there’s still quite a bit of still gameplay anyways so if you were bored of the previous video, you’re going to be bored this time around too. With that being said, let’s get started!

See this video first though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwf8fN6z9NE&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=17

The Main Video:

We start where we left off last time, though we have to get through an eye-splitting intro first. Once we get back to where we were last time, we see that the bird which was obviously Ho-oh flew away.

Although MM misspells ‘obviously’ so already we’re off to a rough start. Evil Mario deduces that the bird he just saw was the one that just burnt his house down. Which, in all honesty, is a rather stupid conclusion for him to come to. Moltres totally exists, they could have been the one to burn that house down instead. And you’re assuming the bird actually bothered to stay around that area and didn’t just fly off somewhere else.

After making his assumptions, Luigi finally appears in this story and confronts his evil brother. Evil Mario asks why Luigi would give him the burnt tower, no doubt about to murder him like he always would. However, Luigi actually says that he didn’t give Evil Mario that burnt tower, he actually gave him one near Peach’s castle. Okay, so I can see what MM’s trying to do here. Clearly it was a sort of misunderstanding that Evil Mario had, and the whole thing was trying to make him learn not to jump to conclusions at all. It’s a good lesson overall, especially since Evil Mario judging things by first sight really is something that he’s bad at. It could have even been a character-changing moment for him to slowly get him back to the Mario that we know and love.

The problem is not only is this not given focus, but also because Evil Mario is completely in the right to assume Luigi gave him the burnt tower. Because as we saw from the kart right at the beginning of the episode, there was no tower near Peach’s Castle! Heck I’m not even sure Peach would agree to such a thing being built outside her property! So I say that what I said earlier still stands, Luigi totally bought that burnt tower intentionally to kill Evil Mario off. It’s just when he didn’t die that Luigi decided to get a second tower to bluff and save his own skin. I know that’s not supposed to be the explanation but given what I’ve seen, what's said in the video makes absolutely zero sense.

So Evil Mario falls for Luigi’s lies despite obviously having not seen a tower near Peach’s Castle earlier and heads back, finding what I can only describe as a set of human-sized boxes poorly stacked together. MM, the thing that you have constructed is not a tower, that looks like something that belongs in a storage facility. Evil Mario seems impressed though, calling it even taller than Luigi’s tower.

That too is blatantly false, because I counted six boxes in this abomination of an architectural building. And Luigi’s tower, not counting its ability to stretch beyond the physical realm, is approximately in Gen 2 about 9 floors and a roof tall. That's not even counting the fact that Mario's body takes up approximately 40% of the width and length of this place while in Luigi's he takes up less than a fiftieth. Which means that Luigi’s is still higher and more spacious and Evil Mario still got scammed even with this cover-up.

Okay I apologize Luigi, clearly I thought that Evil Mario was somehow smarter than you. But since he can’t count floor sizes and got fooled by you saying there was a tower near the castle he’s clearly as dumb as you are. In fact now that I think about it, ever since Lavender Town’s incident he’s done rather horrifically stupid things such as not bringing a Silph Scope with him when he should have or not using his physics-breaking powers to get into a bloody cave. I guess those three years in isolation did a number on his brain. Does that mean I have to start calling him Evil Stupid Mario from now on? ...nah, I’m struggling enough to put one word in front of his name every single time. Let’s call him Not Mario from now on because he’s both Evil and Stupid, clearly things that the real Mario wouldn’t be.

So Not Mario goes right inside the tower and discovers that the entirety of Rainbow Road and the space around it has been stacked inside.

Which doesn’t surprise me since Luigi’s tower seemed to have no defined top so of course he’d master the Time Lord talent of making things bigger on the inside. So Not Mario ends up driving in his kart through Rainbow Road, and honestly I’m not a fan because this means we’re sitting through Mario Kart 64 without anything interesting happening. Even the place being screen-flipped isn’t enough to pique my interest I’m afraid.

He drives around seeing neon versions of all the people, acting like he’s never seen Rainbow Road before in his entire life despite I’m sure of the fact that he raced on it several times beforehand. And of course the only important thing on his mind is that there’s a neon version of him and only makes an excited noise when he sees himself, the selfish bastard.

And also he talks about how he didn’t notice the mushroom despite him obviously having noticed it to even remember it was there, meaning his memory is so short-term that he can’t remember anything for more than a second.

Once he’s done, he avoids Luigi’s death trap of a Chain Chomp and flies past the boundaries of outer space, getting to the very top of the tower and ending the video. I must say that Luigi’s attempt at a second death-trap also failed horribly. Not only that, but he basically just gave Not Mario Rainbow Road for nothing so I’m pretty sure Luigi has failed so miserably to assassinate Not Mario at this point.

And that was Mario’s Tower thus far. If it just ended like this I would say that it had a major plot-hole concerning the tower in the beginning. Quite simply it being near Peach’s castle doesn’t work because of where Not Mario starts. If he had started in another course or track, I would have bought into the story more clearly. Also I don’t care much for Pokemon gameplay and quite honestly I’m ready for something more original from these sorts of videos, and the Mario Kart footage wasn’t used that well here either.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Not Mario - 34 lines [89] (Still the main character and focus, and also a big dumb stupid idiot)

Luigi - 9 lines [9] (Hey, he finally appears in this series! Good for him!)

Town Civilians - 0 lines [0] (They exist.)

Fat Guy #1 - 0 lines [1] (If only there was a jacuzzi for him in that tower.)

Fat Guy #2 - 0 lines [1] (So what if some other person accidentally buys that tower, does this guy become their slave?)

Monk #1 - 0 lines [2] (I’m assuming that he’s still trying to be Gandalf at the moment.)

Monk #2 - 0 lines [5] (Luigi’s probably firing him for not sticking to his post.)

Ho-Oh - 0 lines [0] (Buggered off after one cameo appearance, what a shame.)

Biggest Chad: Not Mario - Honestly for as stupid as he is, he ended up getting Rainbow Road out of this whole situation for free.

Biggest Loser: Luigi - Even though he’s alive he not only failed to kill Not Mario but he also lost money buying a second tower that included Rainbow Road for him too.

Favorite Quote: “It’s even taller than Luigi’s Tower!!” - Not Mario. (For being not only completely and utterly wrong but also being so easy to take out of context.)

If you thought we were done with Not Mario’s Tower, you’re wrong. Tune in next time where we view its supposed deleted scene, AKA Part 3 of this story!