User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 4

Super Mario 64 Bloopers: The Secret of the Waterfall Part 1 (August 15, 2007) [Runtime: 5:20]

Prelude:

Have you ever wondered what was on top of that waterfall near the castle in Mario 64, where it led up to? Well if you ever beat the game you’d already know the answer, but do you know the full truth? Well with this video, you’re going to get to learn all about what’s really at the top! At least, that’s what our dear friend MarioMario54321 states in this video.

Although the material itself isn’t groundbreaking for MM yet (it is still SM64 after all), this marks the first time a video’s been brought into parts. My rule for this review series is that I will make a review for each separate video, with each review drawing from the last. That way I won’t have to add any conclusion sections as I’ll already summarize my thoughts at the end of each part as a whole. I’ll also explain how I do my bonus material at the end of this review, just so you know what changes there. No, let’s get started with the video!

But first, watch it using this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKcAzbq5nXQ&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=4

The Main Video:

We start this video with our completed arc of Mario’s interest in this video series: he’s gone from excited to calm to bored and now he’s not even prying to stay awake for this one. Yep, he’s actually sleeping at the beginning of this video. Apparently we’ve already run out of interesting things to do that Mario can’t even be bothered to wake up. It outright takes the creator of these videos coming into existence himself to wake the plumber up for this video. Which means that MarioMario54321 is now canon to the entire universe, which brings up a lot of implications right off the bat.

So first off Mario’s mentioned before that there were bloopers. I decided to mention it but not bring too much attention to it, since maybe he was referring to some foreign term of adventure we didn’t know about in-universe. But now that MM’s telling him to start it, it’s outright undeniable that it means ‘video’. So basically Mario’s known that his antics have been recorded, which means his murders of Luigi and Oiram were legit put on screen so far so that the public could see them. Which means that Peach definitely knows what he did and hasn’t arrested him for it yet for some reason. Although technically the video footage proves he didn’t commit the murders, he should at least be exiled for voicing the intention on-camera.

So the fact that he isn’t deported yet is a major sign that we’re dealing with a corrupt government already and that Peach is basically a dictator letting people starve in imprisonment or get murdered. Granted 1-Up Mushrooms do exist, but still you’d think Peach would at least bar Mario from the castle at least. Or maybe she knows she can’t do a thing against Mario’s ability to break physics or his power to summon the Bad Music and just lets him into the castle to avoid all that. Whatever the reason, surely the civilians would be throwing a revolt and we’d be seeing some sort of revolution right now, right?

Well since this system of government benefits Mario we’re not going to see that interesting storyline unfold, instead we’re going to deal with a seemingly insignificant desire of the last video. And that’s finding out where the water from the castle’s waterfall comes from! If your answer is Metal Cap Course, the video already points that out for you so that we can all be on the same page. The true question Mario asks is where the waterfall from that place comes from which...actually is a good question. As a credit to MM here he has at least set the question in my head and made me curious about this answer, so I’ll bite. I’m willing to go on this journey to see what the answer is.

Mario starts by going up the waterfall to the Metal Cap Course, in which he hits an invisible barrier before jump-cutting to the place in separate footage. Once there he once again uses his omen powers to predict the plot of the video, which will be to find the 122nd Star! And finding this...wait a minute...no, that’s not possible. SM64 only has 120 stars, how could there be two more? And actually, how did he get the 121st star? I looked back to see if he had it in previous videos and he didn’t, so it can’t be the explanation on how he can break physics.

Maybe our search for the 121st star should have been the focus of his video instead of wherever this water’s coming from, or hell La Revolucion seems interesting too. But I guess we’re just going to brush it aside by Mario just saying he got an extra star somehow. So anyways Mario has camera issues with Lakitu and basically bullies him into fixing it with demands. Oh yeah that’s right we’re still in the “Morally Questionable Mario Era”, I guess we can add Lakitu abuse to his list of crimes.

By the way, how is Lakitu getting stuck underneath solid rock? Does being around Mario somehow give him the power to pass through matter and break physics as well? Because if so, Lakitu might actually be one of the strongest beings in the Mushroom Kingdom. But I digress, let’s continue on.

So Mario discovered this water comes from Tall, Tall Mountain, which….okay yeah fair enough. It is a very tall mountain and I guess there could be some hole in it, so I’ll bite. So at the top of this area’s waterfall is a cave that houses...Jolly Roger Bay’s cave? And Mario treats it as if he’s never seen the place before?

Um...no. No. That’s not possible. That mountain barely has any space on its top and I never saw it had any room besides a small hole either. So unless Mario plummeted miles to the surface this shouldn’t be possible. I assume this is the only logical explanation since this is a bay.

But even assuming that, how does Mario not know what this place is? He’s been here several times, how does he not recognize it? Okay so it’s now proven that Mario isn’t an idiot like I assumed earlier but just has a heavy amount of amnesia. I guess that would explain why he forgets to be excited for these videos. Anyways, he then assumes that the water comes from the bay...even though it’s way, way below the mountains and because the water doesn’t even pour into this supposed secret cave. So already Mario’s full of crap and is super delusional about events happening, so much so that he yells again at poor Lakitu even though his camera guy is doing nothing wrong.

Desperate not to admit Tall Tall Mountain was the answer and that there was nothing more, Mario enters a cannon and accidentally inhales the cannon’s gunpowder (it’s played straight in the video but screw it this is how I’m rationalizing how this is actually happening). By doing this he has a trippy dream where he enters the secret slide for getting the 122nd star, which is totally not the Princess’s Secret Slide whose appearance is modified by a cheat code.

A voice from heaven itself tells him to beat it in 21 seconds to get the star, which he does because of (practicing this before) luck. So, with this challenge beaten, Mario gets his star and the arc for the waterfall has been resolved. But like any bad dream, it loops back and has Mario fail under the guise of an ‘alternative ending’, where he plummets to his death by jumping out of the slide.

So which ending was canon?

To be continued!

So far the video was solid...up until the point where Mario landed in Jolly Roger Bay. After that the inconsistencies were super apparent, even if we take the logic of the video into account. Clearly if it came from this bay, why isn’t there water flowing from that spot? Why is it conveniently in a location that is blocked off from said hole? I’ll never understand the answers but for now I think we should take a break.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

How this is going to work is that I will post the amount of lines for an episode, then the amount of lines total throughout a series in brackets. So, here we go:

Mario - 42 lines  [42] (Because main protagonist)

MarioMario54321 - 2 lines [2] (Because the voice of god needed Mario to stay awake for this one)

Lakitu - 3 lines [3] (Because he was abused so much)

Narrator of the Dream - 4 lines [4] (Actually why does Mario never question why someone knows about this 122nd star, but considering he never questioned the fountain spirit either I just assume he believes any voice he hears.)

And for the Biggest Chad/Loser awards, I’ll do a collective Biggest Chad/Loser on the final part.

Biggest Chad: Lakitu - Gets scorned so many times by Mario for accidentally breaking the laws of physics and keeps carrying on, even through all the previous videos too just to get evidence of Mario’s wrongdoings. Not that it did much in the end but the fact that he’s trying makes him more of a protagonist than Mario at this point.

Biggest Loser: Mario - Mistakenly believed that Jolly Roger Bay was inside Tall, Tall Mountain for some reason, then inhaled gunpowder in a desperate search for another star. Finally I can place Mario here where he belongs.

Favorite Quote: "HEY!" - MarioMario54321. (Okay there weren't really any good ones here so I just picked the one where MM ended up waking up Mario for being a lazy bum.)

Join me next time when we see the end of Mario’s dream.