User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 8

'''Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Makes Me Happy! (September 7th, 2007) [Runtime: 3:27]'''

Prelude:

Beating out Mario’s Revenge on Luigi as the shortest MM video to date comes Makes Me Happy, a video that primarily exists for one reason and one reason only. And that’s to highlight how good Drake Bell’s song of the same name is. If you don’t know who Drake Bell is, he was one of the stars of a Nickelodeon show called “Drake and Josh”, and apparently also a songwriter. And I assume he was popular in the 2000s, maybe? Anyways I don’t really want to talk about him as a person for any longer, I don’t want to risk controversial things getting into my review for now.

So since that’s just about the only reason this premise exists let’s get into the video already. (Also I should note if you’re watching the YouTube version it’s hilarious that they replaced the music with something that sounds so mundane that it makes Mario’s reactions actually kind of pathetic and hilarious).

Also, link to video here, be sure to click the description Google Docs video though for the actual version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmzc2JVWSRI&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=8

The Main Video:

So we start off with Mario calling for Scatman on a blue screen, but Luigi chimes in saying that Scatman is sick for the day. Now right about now you’re probably questioning how Luigi’s alive and not a smushed mess at the top of a tower for the whole kingdom to see. But I explained earlier that 1-up Mushrooms exist, so I’m pretty sure Luigi just got brought back to life. And since Mario’s not trying to kill Luigi here I’m assuming that he felt that one death was punishment enough. It’s good to see that Mario has some restraint on himself. The key word being some, quite literally a fly’s worth.

Luigi recommends Drake Bell’s song, to which Mario agrees and asks Drake Bell in person to play it. And somehow Drake Bell responds as if he’s actually there which is...super, super weird. Wait a minute, so apparently in this video Drake Bell’s playing this song live? I thought they put in track recordings of these singers and not the actual people! So does that mean every time that Scatman’s music is played I’m supposed for him to look on from Lakitu’s camera and just sing to the heavens each and every time? And not only that, but they’re supposed to sing it on a whim whenever the cast feels like it, and sing it at track-level quality every time? Because if so, major props to these singers for being so patient and sitting through these videos. Although since Scatman John is technically dead in the real world by the time this video came out I’m not sure he physically had to sing. Maybe it’s just Drake.

So Drake sings his song ‘Make Me Happy!’ And I am not kidding when I say that when Drake breathes before even saying a word, Mario declares his music to be way better than Scatman’s.

Now personally I like Scatman’s music better, but that’s just personal taste and maybe nostalgia blindness. Not that the song is bad, it’s still quite good. But it makes me wonder if Mario’s head would explode if he listened to Michael Jackson’s music for the first time in his life. He later declares this to be the best song ever, which further cements my theory that he hasn’t heard classical music, Michael Jackson, Through the Fire and the Flames or Final Fantasy music in his lifetime.

He goes to tell Bowser about this music which...wait why him? Isn’t he the guy that kidnaps the Princess all the time, isn’t he supposed to be your...eh you go go-karting together all the time when not working on the clock. I guess them being sorts of buds kind of makes sense. Well maybe, but not really. So Mario invades Bowser’s property and uses the magic of cheating I mean Toad’s Tool 64 to skip an entire course and go directly to him.

Inside Bowser likes the music and wants Mario to tell him about it, but when he doesn’t Bowser immediately threatens to kill Mario as a result. Well never mind I thought Bowser was going to be the one sane person in this kingdom but somehow he’s just as petty as Mario. Ah screw it let’s just accept that Lakitu’s the main protagonist of this series and move on. So Mario of course accepts Bowser’s proposal to fight and both go at killing each other...over information from a Drake Bell song.

Actually now that I think about it, Mario could have avoided all of this if he just told Bowser where it came from. And didn’t he go to Bowser to share that music in the first place? No, that makes no sense. There has to be a darker, more planned out reason for this encounter. I think that Mario used this song as bait to get Bowser to confess to trying to kill Mario, all so that Mario could legally kill Bowser back as self-defense. It’s a dastardly plan if I say so myself, a plan that is of course to be expected by Serial Killer Mario.

So they fight and Mario grabs Bowser’s tail as expected, except he notes that it’s hard to do it with arrow keys since this is an emulation. And Bowser agrees with this, waiting for Mario to…

Wait what.

Mario just admitted in-universe they’re in an emulated game? Wait a minute, so they know they’re in a fictitious game meant to appease consumers? But doesn’t that mean that they know that their existences are a lie and that nothing really matters in their lives? Oh man, that one line reveals a ton more darker stuff than I think we realize. In fact, I think it all makes sense now! MM was a fan of Super Mario 64 who just so happened to find a way to get into the universe through cheat codes so that he could tell Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom of their purpose in the world. And by unveiling the wool from their eyes, he’s turned them apathetic to any general consequences! It all makes sense now, it explains how Mario doesn’t act like a hero anymore or why Luigi and Bowser would be so petty and why Peach is so forgiving! Because literally they know nothing matters!

Anyways, going beyond that existential revelation, Bowser is thrown but declares that the bomb missed him...which is completely wrong by the way. I’m pretty sure Bowser missed the bomb, not the other way around. Once the song is finished Mario declares for it to be played again, which I’m sure is much to Drake Bell’s annoyance. In fact since Luigi is the one responding to this, I like to believe Drake Bell just refused to play again and left to spite the production, leaving Mario to just work with his archived track song instead. Bowser eventually is blown up and Mario reveals what song it was to taunt Bowser before leaving him lying injured on the arena floor. I don’t think he’s dead though since this isn’t the place where he’d die, I think he just faked it so that Mario would leave.

So at the end the voice of the blue screen who I’m just going to assume is MM himself says that the song can be gotten from Limewire. I don’t even know what Limewire is so I’m just going to assume it’s a dead Internet thing. Mario and Luigi agree and the video ends, sparing Drake Bell’s track recordings of any more singing. And that’s it for the video.

It was...well it accomplished what it wanted to do. It made a video featuring Drake Bell’s song. That’s about it, and...eh I mean there’s not much to it. You’re literally getting what the title says you’re getting, nothing much more. It’s not really too worth a watch.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Mario - 18 lines [55%] (Somehow I think this is the least he speaks in one of these videos)

Luigi - 5 lines [15%] (He just sat in the background this entire time just grateful to be alive)

Drake Bell - 1 line and 1 song [3%] (Of course since his song’s the center focus of this episode)

Bowser - 6 lines [18%] (About time you showed up, also glad to know I can’t root for you)

MarioMario54321 - 3 lines [9%] (I’m not even completely sure it was him)

Total Lines: 33 lines

Biggest Chad: Drake Bell - The guy went ahead and sang live for some famous hero Italian plumber, and then left because he had better things to do. The leaving part’s what solidifies his status here.

Biggest Loser: Bowser - The guy literally wants to kill Mario for lack of getting information. That’s actually more petty than losing a sign.

Favorite Quote: "Oh yeah! This is way better than Scatman!" - Mario. (Because this line is a lie and you know it.)

Next up, we take a return to actual important videos with the return of a certain Doppelganger...but that’s odd, didn’t we see him die in his last video? Find out how he’s back in the next video!