User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 13

'''Mario Bloopers: Lavender Town (Part 2) (October 17, 2007) [Runtime: 5:12. Total Runtime: 9:46]'''

Prelude:

This video concludes the storyline set out from the previous video, with the tension against Lavender Town being resolved in this one. A fun note that you’ll see as you browse through MM’s video catalogue, however, is that there’s actually more than two parts to this series. There’s actually five parts, the latest being released in 2019. That’s over ten years after Part 1 first debuted, which would naturally lead you to question how I’m going to handle this review. Do I count all five parts as one collective, or do I treat them as separate stories?

Well one thing’s for certain, Parts 1 and 2 are definitely together. As for Part 3, it’s actually two videos apart from the second part. But since MM definitively said at the end of this video that there would be no third part, and since the third seems more like a Mario v. Oiram style sequel than a continuation, I’m counting it as separate and thus considering this the final section of the story. Parts 4 and 5 will be separate videos since they’re years out too. So, it’s time to see MM’s conclusion to this story!

See this video first though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry8nFqqbC98&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=13

The Main Video:

We start with Mario...no, Evil Mario still residing in the caves after three years waking up from a dream. He wakes up from them and mourns how he had only dreamt of Lavender Town becoming a good place. Which means that anything that happened in the last minute of the episode was a complete fabrication and did not actually happen.

Aw, so Fat Civilian never actually existed? Dammit he was one of the only characters I grew to like! You finally get me invested in someone and you have to retcon him as a dream, bugger! Ah well, Oiram, you can have your title as main protagonist back again. Also it definitely makes sense since I know that Evil Mario would have blown that building to hell without a second thought. It’s completely uncharacteristic of him to listen to reason!

...wait, but...OH NO...does that mean he’s going to blow up the building later on? Well he does state that he has a Silph Scope now but not dynamite. So I guess that he won’t blow it up…? Oh what am I saying he’s going to find a way to utterly destroy that place isn’t he. Well let’s not worry about that for now, I’m sure I’ll get to that travesty later. Also I still doubt it would take Evil Mario 3 years to get that Scope. Clearly this is an assassination attempt going right, and Evil Mario’s masquerading it as being scared.

In the meanwhile, Luigi tries to find Evil Mario, but ends up getting lost. He asks a random kid nearby where he is, to which the kid responds that he’s already in the ghost tower. Luigi fears for Evil Mario because of course busting ghosts is Luigi’s job and he tries going after him. But after about five to ten seconds of entering, Luigi calls the music ‘Bad Music’ and ends up running away in fear. Hum, Luigi, you do know that there's only one track that can be called the ‘Bad Music’ right? Oh wait, we call that tune the ‘Bad Revenge Music’ now, so I guess the description of bad music is available again.

The kid tells Luigi not to worry as Evil Mario has a Silph Scope and should be fine. Key word being ‘a’ Silph Scope, as in there’s more than one. More credence to my Evil Mario wants Peach dead theory for sure. But with this assurance, Luigi feels he needs to get back to the castle and expressly says that Peach is dead. Now, in the previous video MM censored her death rather hard, only revealing it in a split frame at the very end of the video. Here, though, Luigi just so casually states it that I have to wonder why MM bothered trying to censor it in the first video. Maybe he thought it was so much of a shock that viewers would be horribly traumatized and need time to let it sink in before the next part began? I don’t know.

Regardless, Luigi drives back to the castle, preferably to give the Penguins a strong warning that Evil Mario has awoken from his slumber, and that the day of reckoning is coming. Understandably since the castle is SM64 territory and multiple people have physics-breaking powers there, the Penguins relinquish the castle to avoid any more bloodshed and presumably retreat back to their town. One day they’ll be able to uncover MM’s secrets and finally take over for themselves, but until that day comes they’ll just have to keep planning. To keep training. And obviously I’m still cheering for those guys to win.

Luigi decides to watch over Peach’s corpse...which quite frankly by this point should already be bones. And no I’m not even going to entertain the idea that she died recently because she would not take three bloody years before sending someone else to get her medicine. So she’s bones by this point, period. Unless they’ve found a body preservation technique, in which case good on them. Also don’t they have 1-up mushrooms on hand? Why not use one of those? Unless there’s a shortage somehow, but I don’t see who could have done that. I guess we’re just not going to get this 1-up shortage explained because honestly I wouldn’t know how.

Back to Evil Mario, though, he manages to climb the tower and IDs ghosts with his Silph Scope. I guess since they can be IDed they lose their invincibility powers or something? He ends up reaching the top and faces the Ghost Leader, who like in the games ends up being Marowak. Evil Mario predictably uses violence to absolutely slaughter her ghost...somehow...wait how do bullets and explosions work on ghosts again? I guess they just do because the Marowak departs into the afterlife.

Once Evil Mario reaches the top...there’s absolutely nothing. He spent three years waiting for Peach to...I mean waited three years in fear of this ghost and how to find the means to finally conquer it, and all he gets in the end is nothing at the top. So, viewers of this blog, what…

Oh I’m not even going to pad it he yells at the top of his lungs that he’s going to blow up the tower.

Our ‘hero’ ladies and gentlemen. I’m holding out hope because hopefully everyone on the lower floors heard his claims of terrorism and got out of the building at that moment. Well they probably couldn’t since Evil Mario goes straight out the window, throws a bomb in and jumps off while watching the place explode. And seeing as I didn’t see anyone evacuating, I suppose that no one ended up escaping because of this despite Mario screaming like a lunatic up there. That or they all fled immediately after hearing him, but let's just assume no one can hear him on the top floor.

Which means that yes, Evil Mario just blew up the building with tens of innocent people still inside! I counted exactly how many, he killed twenty. TWENTY. Twenty people died because of his anger issues. Our. Main. Protagonist. Audience. Also he totally cheats by walking down the building, but I’m chalking this up to Evil Mario being a good climber and trying to find an excuse not to say he has physics-breaking powers in Pokemon towns. So MM, because he couldn’t convincingly actually blow the building up, decides to make the tower go offscreen and put in an explosion sound-effect.

I’m not sure that the building's actually gone based on that poor editing decision alone, but considering that Evil Mario’s looking directly at it and because the townspeople acknowledge it later I’m going to assume it’s been blown to shreds. Like, if Evil Mario’s looking in its general direction as it explodes, he’s obviously making sure that it’s actually exploding. So yes I’m still going to say he’s killed 20 people. In fact, screw it, I’m making a count about how many poor innocents he’s murdered so far. The Bully from that time he jumped the castle, the Fly Guy from the Waterfall story, Lakilulu, the Penguin Watchman, Marowak’s spirit and all 20 of these Lavender Tower victims. Mario Victim Count: 25. And no I’m not going to count all the extraneous ghosts in the tower because that’s uncountable.

He declares after his mass murder that his work is done, and proceeds to get what he wants from this place. The mayor, understandably terrified from seeing so many innocents murdered in that tower plus all the ghosts no longer being able to rest in peace there, submits to the evil plumber and basically gives him gifts in an attempt to negotiate his leave from the city. The blowing up of Lavender Town’s presented as a good thing in the video, but we all know that this bribery exchange is what really happened.

So Evil Mario ends up getting one million coins for payment, medicine for Peach...and a revival Mushroom. Yeah they know of Peach’s death even though they’re not technically in the Mushroom Kingdom, probably because Luigi told that kid about her death earlier. Wait...wait, but does this mean...holy Moses it does! Luigi just inadvertently saved Peach’s life! Think about it, Evil Mario was never going to revive her. He’d come back obviously with the medicine but be too late with it, and he’d keep her dead so that he’d conquer the kingdom for himself after her ‘unfortunate’ passing. But now that Luigi’s mentioned the Mushroom, Evil Mario’s being forced to take a revival mushroom right towards her! And if he doesn’t deliver it, he’ll be exposed as a traitor to the kingdom!

That must mean that Evil Mario and MM were responsible for the 1-up Mushroom disappearances too, because they obviously didn’t want for Peach to have a way of reviving herself! It all makes clear sense now! I don’t know if this was intentional from Luigi or just a coincidence, but either way Luigi just saved Peach’s life. And he did it without even being caught too! Which means that he’s technically the main protagonist of this series by default now! Finally, I can root for someone on the main cast. Very, very little, but at least lack of intelligence isn’t as bad as Evil Mario or MM’s nefarious criminal streak.

Realizing his plans were utterly ruined, Evil Mario in regret has to go back to the castle and actually bring Princess Peach back to life. Of course Peach would never realize his plan once she was revived, but it’s not like anyone else besides MM knew either. And with that, the video ends, saying there won’t be a Part 3 despite the fact that Part 3’s only so shortly away from this video.

Well that was...something. I said last time that Mario...Evil Mario was at one of his worst moments, but I didn’t realize how bad he was here until writing this review out. Really speaking this person still doesn’t deserve the title of Mario, and MM has utterly failed in making this version a likeable character. He ignores such a straightforward task for a ghost tower adventure that he quite clearly could have avoided to begin with. Like, the tower clearly has no connection to Peach’s illness that it’s frustrating to watch these people be incompetent. Add a three year skip with Peach doing nothing to help herself and it only proves that the main cast are complete idiots who are unworthy of being rooted for. I felt more for the ghosts of the tower than I did for any of these protagonists, and that’s saying something.

I also think the production quality was shotty, especially with the tower blowing up and some of the text coloring being too matching with the video. There is only one positive I can give this series, and it’s that Luigi has some minor redeeming quality here. That’s about it, because otherwise this series fails horribly.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Evil Mario - 25 lines [67, 67%] (Once again, the main antagonist gets the most lines.)

Peach - 0 lines [0] (Died offscreen and got revived offscreen. Okay I guess the other positive was not showing a PNG of her.)

Lakitu - 0 lines [0] (Good job not filming the tower explosion for evidence Lakitu)

Lavender Town Civilians - 0 lines [0] (Poor guys probably lost loved ones in that tower.)

Lavender Town Ghosts - 0 lines [0] (Poor Pokemon can’t rest in peace now.)

Ghost Leader/Marowak - 5 lines [9, 9%] (She’s actually a rare female villain in an MM54321, I’ll point that out right now. Still doesn’t make her immune to having her spirit blown to nothingness though.)

Luigi - 11 lines [14, 14%] (I’ve gained tiny esteem for you.)

Fat Lavender Town Civilian - 0 lines [4, 4%] (Aw he doesn’t exist D:)

Green Radio Tower Guard - 0 lines [1, 1%] (Also doesn’t exist.)

Lavender Town Kid - 4 lines [4, 4%] (That kid just saved Peach’s life, nice.)

Gastly - 1 line [1, 1%] (Rest in Pepperonis)

Lavender Town Mayor - 0 lines [0] (Offscreen, but a clear victim of bribery nonetheless.)

Total Lines: Exactly 100

Part Biggest Chad: Luigi - Inadvertently saved the Princess by mentioning her death to a local. Yeah it’s minor but no one else besides the Mayor did anything better than that so Luigi gets it by default.

Part Biggest Loser: Lavender Town Mayor - He ended up losing twenty people, lots of Pokemon graves, medicine, a sacred 1-Up and one million dollars to a serial killer. Yeah he lost a lot, and he’s a rare example of a loser that I pity.

Overall Biggest Chad: Fat Lavender Town Civilian - I will be completely honest, no one deserves this award. Evil Mario doesn’t because of course not, Peach made terrible decisions as described in Part 1, the mayor caved into bribery, Luigi took forever to leave and got scared within five seconds of entering the place, the Ghosts ended up perishing at the end, Lavender Town’s civilians will be traumatized forever and the two people in the dream that did good stuff don’t actually exist. Even Lakitu doesn’t get it this time since he didn’t record the tower explosion for evidence's sake. But in the end I know I have to award this to someone, and that I shouldn’t keep it away from a character that gets lines yet technically doesn’t exist. So congrats, Fat Lavender Town Civilian, you get this award by default.

Overall Biggest Loser: Take a wild guess. Mario...Evil Mario - Yeah you can’t be shocked to see him here again. The guy literally lived in a cave for three years, only to have his plan of taking over the throne ruined by his brother. Yeah he got one million coins from the whole deal, but he’s in serious trouble when he gets back to Peach regardless.

Favorite Quote: "Excellent. But now that Peach is dead, I gotta go back to her castle." - Luigi. (Said so casually to a kid as if that wouldn't cause mass panic and rioting in the Mushroom Kingdom. His other line about guarding Peach's body until Evil Mario gets back is a worthy contender as well.)

With Lavender Town visited and dealt with, it’s time for Evil Mario to embark on more Pokemon shenanigans in the next video series!