User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 45

Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Cotton-Eyed Joe (March 5th, 2008) [Runtime: 7:44] 

Prelude:

Well this is a bit of an awkward situation. Normally when reviewing these videos, I watch the original videos on a Google Drive link that MM54321 posts on the video descriptions. This is because YouTube normally copyrights the tracks and removes them from the videos entirely, which also basically removes any sound effects from said videos as well. Well as of the time that I’m writing this review, all of the Google Drive videos are down. As in, the entire folder is just gone. So now I have no original video to work with and I’m stuck with the crappy YouTube version. But since most of these videos are text-based anyways, that won’t be an issue, right?

Well, no, you’re wrong. Firstly, I think that music is one of the two key halves of these videos. It’s the only thing that feeds into your ears, and thus half of your video experience comes from the music in conjunction with the visuals. Secondly, there are times where the audio not only gets removed but it also has previous sections overlapping with later sections, killing the mood entirely and thus making the dead silence somehow the better option. Thirdly, the very first video I have to review after all these videos were taken down relies on the music!

Which segues into what this video is about. Cotton-Eyed Joe is a song by Rednex that I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of before in some form or capacity. Either it’s through memes or pop culture, but I’m pretty sure a good chunk of people know this song. Unfortunately for Rednex, though, it seems that MM54321 thought that this was a Scatman song and decided to include this music video in order to expand his Scatman selections. And, unfortunately for all of us, about 85% of the runtime of this video depends on either Scatman songs or said Cotton-Eyed Joe song being played, so I can’t comment on much of this video. I was going to make a running gag where I blamed YouTube for ruining these videos with their tampering, but in fairness to YouTube, MM54321 ripped off these tracks in full so I can’t really fault them for muting his audio. So instead I’ll just do the best I can to review these, then re-edit this review when MM54321 gets his originals back into the viewable public eye. I won’t go back and edit my old reviews to match with the lack of originals since that would be an absolute waste of my time.

Alright enough of that, on with the (completely and horribly butchered) video!

Here’s the link to the video, but in all honesty don’t bother watching it yet until the original is back up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tk_Kz9dn3U&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=45

The Main Video:

We start the video with one noise by Scatman being uttered before the gods of YouTube copyright absolutely silence him. By the sound of it he was singing “I’m a Scatman!”, so that’s what we’ll go with. Scatman Counter: 18. Already we’re starting with a Scatman song, that was quick! While Scatman is (supposedly) singing, Mario decides to visit King Bob-omb.

And that’s basically all that happens in the first minute. Though, the way that Mario actually gets to King Bob-omb is a bit weird. He decides to not immediately moon jump to the top as I would expect, as he does take the flower warp. But right after the flower warp, he moon jumps to the top anyway? Mario, do you want the exercise or not? Anyways he picks up King Bob-omb and one second of the second Scatman song “Scatman’s World” ends up playing. Dang, this is the first time that my Scatman counter has been raised by more than one during one of these videos! You’re making it work out! Scatman Counter: 19. Also, since Mario is lifting up King Bob-omb completely against his will and giving him the NarutoFan treatment, that’s technically abusing him. Again. King Bob-omb Abuse Counter: 2.

After Mario is done abusing King Bob-omb and the king performs the greatest high leap known to mankind, Mario leaves the stage and runs around the castle a bit. He then jumps to the very top of the castle and talks straight to Scatman John, in which Scatman himself replies. Wait a minute, Scatman John is actually supposed to be singing these? For real? Keep in mind that Scatman John is supposed to be dead by this point in time, so MM is either actually disturbing him in the afterlife to get these live performances in or this is a universe where Scatman John is miraculously alive somehow. Since (spoilers I guess) later on we’re going to get confirmation he’s dead in this universe, we’re going with the former.

So yeah, Scatman John is being dragged from the afterlife to sing these live. I’m sure he’s pretty upset at that since it denies him any peace of rest, but hey, since when did other people’s lives matter anyways. And despite being a ghost and having no need for currency, I like to think Scatman John is still charging them just to swindle them out of some money. Not only that, but since the songs sound like they’re the exact same performance, I’m willing to bet he just plays the recording of the song and fakes singing so that he can get a profit out of doing absolutely nothing. Actually, no wonder he comes back to do these videos so often, he literally gets a steal from MM every time that he does!

Apart from that, Mario is tired of hearing the same two songs from Scatman John, which is fair since he has quite a few other songs. Mario also asks Scatman John to play a new song where he’ll get paid double to sing it. He reckons he can pay it since MM54321 makes a fortune off of his videos…how exactly? No, actually, how does he make a fortune off of them? Did that 122nd star sell for crazy amounts of cash? Does he have an insurance scam gambit pulled up to where the damages of the videos get directly paid into his bank account, which would actually explain why Mario causes so much destruction in them? Did he steal that money from Wario’s hoarde, has he robbed banks offscreen with his godlike powers to get these videos funded? Whatever the case is, I’m 100% percent sure he got it illegally since there’s no way these YouTube videos rake him in any cash during 2007-2008.

Mario specifically asks for the funniest song for hilarious moments, which is oddly specific. If you wanted hilarious music, I would advise perhaps the Benny Hill theme you used for one of your Oiram fights? That seems like one of the peaks of comical music, you’re just going to ignore that track? But apparently he wants one from Scatman John, which he tells MM about through ear. I don't know why he's whispering it, though, since we see the name of the track not moments later? Is it a curse for Mario to hear that name out loud?

MarioMario54321 thinks that it’s a fantastic idea since he’s apparently heard the song before, and thus the song picked is “Cotton-Eyed Joe.”

Before we go on, I’ve already mentioned that this song is most definitely not a Scatman John song, but rather a Rednex song. And obviously you can tell that it’s not Scatman John since it lacks his scat-rap type of lyrics, sounds techno-country and the voice is so obviously different that it would take a deaf person to confuse the two for each other. But somehow Scatman John is able to pull off this lie, get MarioMario54321 to credit him for a song that clearly isn’t his and get paid double for not actually singing said song that isn’t even his to begin with. I imagine he did this because he only had two reputable songs and knew they wouldn’t use any of his other ones, thus he just lied out of his butt and stole someone else’s for more profit because he knew MM was a bit daft in the head.

On a side note, ironically, this is one of the only times MarioMario54321 has shown any sort of weakness or flaw in the series, and it came by complete accident. If this were an actual flaw of his, that might have been interesting, but eh we can’t have the Mary Sue of the series have those.

So for the rest of the video, Mario dances along to Scatman’s stolen song outside of the castle and that’s pretty much it. There is actually nothing else interesting happening, and I can’t even comment on how the music fits in since it doesn’t technically play (thanks YouTube). I will say that this doesn’t seem like a hilarious moment at all, but since this is the test recording I guess it can slide. As for my thoughts on the music itself, I loved it when I was a kid, so I guess it’s cool to see it in these videos.

Once the music (supposedly) ends, MM54321 has the song recorded into his studio. Apparently he counts his computer as an entire studio despite me betting he only has the budget to afford himself, the Lakitus, whoever’s singing the song of the day, and Mario somehow. And that ends the video!

Even without the audio there for the most part, I know my general feeling about this video. It’s forgettable really. I mean, it’s nice to hear all of the music, but the footage is extremely forgettable and honestly we didn’t need an entire video introducing a new song like this.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Evil Mario - 6 lines (He spent most of this episode trampling on Peach’s property than actually doing something)

King Bob-omb - 0 lines (And the award for highest long jump goes to…)

Yoshi - Cameo lol

Scatman John - 4 lines (Hey he finally got to speak in one of these! Nice!)

MarySue54321 - 2 lines (Yes he eventually figured out it wasn’t a Scatman John, just so you know.)

Total Lines - 12

Biggest Chad: Scatman John - By default since he effortlessly tricked MM into thinking a song that wasn’t his was his and he got paid double for it.

Biggest Loser: MarySue54321 - Rednex was a close second due to losing money, but it’s far more humiliating to be tricked out of money by a singer playing their recording instead of actually doing their performance live. And also I desperately needed the excuse to put him in Biggest Loser again.

Favorite Quote: “What’s your most hilarious song that we can use for hilarious moments?” - Mario (The same question that every meme or try not to laugh compilation maker asks themselves).

Next time we’ll reach a milestone, for we will have reached the fiftieth MarioMario54321 video! …sort of.