User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 35

Mario Bloopers: Revenge of the Piranha Plants (February 15th, 2008) [Runtime: 3:02] 

Prelude:

Well we’re about a day later from the very short and very uneventful Valentine’s Day video, so clearly we're not going to get anything major from MM this time around. Okay, there’s actually dialogue this time in fairness, but also the plot is super simple and super basic. Granted, given the madness and leaps in logic in some of the previous plots I think a shorter and more simple plot is welcome, and for what it is this video seems relatively harmless. You’re pretty much getting exactly what the title says, and I don’t feel like there’s much more to say.

See this video first before reading on to get your own properly informed opinion:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eii0LEby7y0&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=35

The Main Video:

By the way, can I just note that for the past seven videos there’s been a constant influx of Super Mario Galaxy tracks? I didn’t mention it before because I didn’t realize it yet, but yeah we’ve gone 7 videos with mostly either Mario Galaxy tracks. When I told you that MM loved Mario Galaxy back during the Linerider video, I wasn’t kidding. Anyways let’s see how many videos he can use Mario Galaxy music in a row just for the funsies. Mario Galaxy Music Combo: 8 videos.

I’m saying eight videos because the first track we get is a Mario Galaxy track, because of course. We start with Mario waking up from a nap, and then immediately declaring that he’s going to kill a Piranha Planet. Yep, that doesn’t surprise me at all. Just typical normal evil Mario stuff.

However, because he just woke up, I assume his reflexes are off point because he gets his butt kicked by the stationary plant. After a short while, though, he manages to kill it and decides to go kill the other two. He decides to kill them by using a metal cap (and the power of breaking the laws of physics, but we don’t mention that here). Also, for some reason, he decides to spare the Whomps even though I’m pretty sure after what happened with that Twhomp last time they would be on his target list to kill as well. But I guess he’s just too tired to remember them at the moment and ignored them. Mario Kill Count: 399.

After causing the complete extinction of the Piranha Plant race on Whomp’s Fortress…which I think must have happened before if he went for a one hundred coin run…Mario decides to leave by grabbing the star in the cage. Also I have to point out the special music for the Metal Cap doesn’t stop once the metal cap’s effects fade, therefore you have failed MM. Alright, that’s the halfway point, and we’ve clearly set up motivation for the whole title of the video. The Piranha Plants clearly want revenge on Mario for murdering their bretheren. I respect the effort of the set-up and that it didn’t take much time. Unfortunately for MM, though, I have several questions about the logic behind this revenge.

First off, why are they only seeking revenge now? This surely isn’t the first time that Mario’s slaughtered their brethren, he’s probably done it constantly since day one. Secondly, what Piranha Plants would care about the ones on Whomp’s Fortress? Would it be the new batch that came in, and they’re scared of being killed by Mario as well? I suppose this revenge might be an accumulation of all the Piranha Plants and not just these three, because it being for these three is just silly. And third, how difficult is it going to be for these plants to get revenge? Because they can’t exactly walk, they need to get lucky with Mario entering a pipe blindly and then eating him to really do anything. And even if they spat projectiles, Mario would most likely avoid them.

Well, I’m proven wrong just a few seconds later when somehow a Piranha Plant gains the ability to have legs.

And yes, this is a Mario Party minigame. Normally at this point I would be frothing at having to watch more Mario Party content, but thankfully it’s just this one minigame and nothing more, so I’ll tolerate it. So, as revenge, a Piranha Plant suddenly is granted the miracle of walking to try and eat Mario while he’s riding a skateboard. Clearly, he has to skate for his life to survive.

Except then you realize that the title of this video was a gigantic lie. Because not only is there only one Piranha Plant, but also there’s a whole gang of people wanting to get revenge on Mario. And they’re definitely working alongside the Piranha Plant since they’re using a cloud to help it grow. On this cloud are Luigi and Wario, who I’m not surprised would want revenge on Mario at this point. After what happened on Waluigi’s Island, I too would want to see him eaten alive. Also, since Waluigi doesn’t exist in this Mario Party, someone else has to take his place. So helping the two get revenge on Mario is…Donkey Kong? Um, why him of all characters? I’m pretty sure Peach has clear motivation, she would make way more sense. And if you really don’t want to go with Peach to have an all-male cast, then why not Yoshi? Mario’s tossed his kind off of so many cliffs, he’s bound to try and kill Mario at some point, right? Meanwhile all Donkey Kong has in terms of motivation is losing other Mario Party minigames, so he’s literally the worst option you could have picked here.

So, the group attempts to kill Mario by using the cloud, although a certain someone has a strategy in mind. That’s right, the video points out that Luigi is doing nothing to help the other two out, and leaves it up to the viewer to decide why. Hey, since it’s leaving me to decide, I’ll take that opportunity! I reckon it wants me to choose “Luigi loves his brother too much”, but given the previous videos we all know that would be a lie. So I officially designate “he was trying to use the does nothing technique to ensure Mario’s death” as the official reason.

Anyways, the plan fails and Mario both survives and gets the money of all the people on the cloud. So in other words, he got richer from the failed murder attempt, which not very much of a successful revenge of the sole Piranha Plant is it? Also I can only imagine the people on the cloud are mad that they wasted their time with this and lost a bit of pocket change. Actually, why did they lose money? Did they pay Mario ahead of time so that they wouldn’t go to court and cause a big hassle? Can Mario actually sue them for attempted murder? Or was this payment for him to spare their lives? Given canon I’m going to bet it’s the latter.

And that’s the video. Again, relatively harmless, and simple enough to be a three minute slog of time. But if you don’t prefer anything mediocre to watch, I wouldn’t watch it.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Mario - 7 lines [100%] (I think this is the least subtle he’s been about being a mass murderer)

The Piranha Plant Victims - 0 lines (Rest is leaferonis)

Mutant Piranha Plant - 0 lines (All we need is Waluigi as Orin, Wario as Mushnik, Peach as Audrey and Mario as Seymour and we have ourselves a new SM64 Bloopers)

Luigi - 0 lines (Commit to your meme dangit)

Wario - 0 lines (He realized he would get put into prison for being fat and paid Mario to keep this private)

Donkey Kong - 0 lines (I don’t even think he knew what he was doing, I just think he got on the cloud because he thought it would be fun)

Total Lines - 7 (hey, seven more than the last video!)

Biggest Chad: Mario - For not only getting away with murder but also getting paid to escape justice.

Biggest Loser: The Mutant Piranha Plant - It was the only one that actually went through with the revenge plan, and it got its ass kicked by Mario without him even trying.

Favorite Quote: “Luigi’s not doing anything! Why? That’s up to you to find out!” - Narrator (Except Luigi was clearly doing something so nothing about this line makes logical sense)

Next time, we’ll be finishing up the clock mini-arc. Yes, surprisingly, we’re still not done with that plotline yet.