User blog:WikiSchm2000/The MarioMario54321 Review Marathon - Part 32

SM64 Bloopers: Getting Mario's Clock Fixed (February 9th, 2008) [Runtime: 8:10]

Prelude:

After the last two rather subpar videos that took place on Mario Party 3 boards, you’ll be relieved to hear that this video is entirely Super Mario 64-centric. Granted I had a bit of fun coming up with my own story for these videos, but that’s more so out of me scrambling to find any substance to them than any actual meat in the story presented. As for what this new story is about, it’s mainly a continuation of the clock subplot from the last video. I have to give some credit to MM54321 for the continuity between this story and the last, it does make the videos as a whole seem more connected. However, given how little there was in the previous story to this subplot, I’m a bit worried there’s not going to be much substance to this plot either.

Also, it might not seem this way, but this is actually the first part of a story. The title wouldn’t make you believe that, but it is. The clock subarc actually extends to five whole episodes: Banned in the Party’s two videos, this video, the next video, and a future video later down the road. I’m going to be counting this and the next video as one story and the future video as its own ‘conclusion story’ for this review. With that out of the way, will Mario be able to fix this clock? Let’s find out!

See this video first before reading on to get your own properly informed opinion:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2-vuxHGDJA&list=PLNPi6H0sXYaCHQG4Br4q5yZJp8uxhid2B&index=32

The Main Video:

We start with Mario going back to the castle to fix the clock since he didn’t end up accomplishing that last time. This time, however, I don’t have to speculate as much as to why Mario thinks the castle clock is broken. He says that it’s been broken since 1999, and that it’s broken because the clock’s hands are moving too fast.

Believe it or not, this couple of lines of exposition actually answers a lot of questions that I had. Stopping the clock from the inside really doesn’t have an effect on the outside, which is why Mario keeps saying that he’s unable to fix the clock. And it also explains why Mario would be content with stopping the clock from the inside without it sounding like he doesn’t really care for fixing the clock. Okay, good, the whole ‘fixing the clock’ process is a lot more clear to me than it was before.

It sucks however that it’s apparently been broken for about nine to ten years by this point. You would think that Peach would simply get a new clock by that point since Mario can’t fix it by himself. What, are grandfather clocks the most expensive thing in the whole Mushroom Kingdom for some reason? And besides, having one that doesn’t have an interdimensional portal on its face might be a profitable investment too. But alas, Peach’s standards are quite strange and we’re stuck with Mario having to fix this clock instead of buying a new one. That or she’s realized that this is the only thing keeping him busy and out of the way of the kingdom.

Mario recalls the first time that he tried fixing the clock, set nicely to a grey background. Good job on using that filter MM by the way. Unfortunately for him this was a period in time when MM didn’t grant him god-like moon jumping or invincibility, and so he had his butt flung out by one of those Heave-Hos. Granted this is his first time so I’ll give him some benefit of the doubt, but really? He was killed by one of those things? It’s a good thing he found a 1-up mushroom seconds earlier because he surely needed that.

Mario Death Counter: 11. Back in the present day, Mario investigates by going straight to the top of the clock. Once he reaches the top, he meets a Thwomp, who immediately states that he was the reason that the clock is stopped. Which...doesn’t make sense. In fact this really, really doesn’t make sense. Given that Super Mario 64 happened Mario definitely met this Thwomp before. Given that this Thwomp was his only way to get one of the stars of the clock, Mario had to ride this Thwomp once. So why is he outright saying all of a sudden that he’s the problem for the clock? Why immediately say it now of all times?

Is it because the Clock Thwomp realizes that the cameras are rolling, and that if he doesn’t comply then MM will just find a way to spill the beans anyways and get Mario to brutally annihilate him? Also how does pounding the clock make the clock hands move faster? Shouldn’t that make the hands stop? Ah whatever, we’ve already established the outside rules aren’t like the inside rules.

Wisely not wanting to take the risk of Mario’s fury, he states that he’ll stop if Mario passes three trials.

You would think that Mario wouldn’t have the patience to go through with any of them and just blow the Thwomp on the spot. After all, he’s done that to Marowak and plenty of other antagonists beforehand. Apparently Thwomps are the most indestructible creatures to ever exist, though, because Mario doesn’t even think to blow him to kingdom come. I will admit that’s canon accurate enough.

The first task for Mario to undertake is getting a green shell from a clam in Dire Dire Docks.

And from the first task alone I already know that Thwomp graduated from the Millennium Star school of coming up with random nonsense for no apparent reason. At the very least it gives MM more excuse to use more Super Mario Galaxy music, which is the biggest positive out of this video. Because the next two minutes are just Mario getting a shell. Somehow this is more boring than the Mario Party 3 video and I didn’t even think that was possible.

Mario makes it back to the Thwomp to hear of the second task, having somehow made it all the way back after what must have been a gruelling trek. Okay maybe not for Mario, I assume it only took him four minutes at worst to get from place to place given his agility and physics-braking powers. The second task is getting a penguin from a roof, and it’s basically just the mother penguin mission from Super Mario 64.

Nothing to note here except that there’s an interesting point where Mario accidentally picks up the mother penguin’s baby and tries running off with it. The mother actually angrily follows the baby, which is a neat little detail that players may not know about.

Mario makes it back to the final challenge, where the Thwomp says that MM had to use Toad’s Tool 64 to make the last challenge possible. Ah, so MM is getting involved with this one. I knew it! Thwomp must have realized that and convinced MM for the last challenge. And the last challenge is far more captivating than the other ones simply because it’s finally a different one from what we’re used to! Mario has to pass under eight different Thwomps without dying.

It’s easy, but at least it’s a new sort of challenge. And it was relatively quicker than the others, so it’s my favorite out of all the challenges. Mario also comments on how MM messed up the whole of Whomp’s Fortress, including removing a pathway and having Mario stand on air at one point. ...so MarySue54321 can also just warp matter to his will too? Okay seriously what can’t he do?

Anyways, Mario succeeds and finds a switch where the Thwomp once was.

Out of literally nowhere MM chimes in for Mario to press the switch to fix the clock. Ah dammit, I guess he’s in this video now. I’ll ignore him for now and just move on. So Mario presses the switch and waits for what will happen. And...we have to wait until the next video to find out what happens.

So that was the first part of this clock-centric video. And for a video about fixing a clock, there sure was a bunch of random non-clock fixing stuff in it. Honestly this might have bored me more than the last video in the middle section, simply because the Mario 64 stuff drags on longer than Mario Party 3 minigames. However, seeing the 8-Thwomp challenge already makes this way better than the last video simply for that alone, plus we have more of a set-up for Mario to fix the clock.

The Extra Bonus Stuff:

Mario - 26 lines [26] (Poor guy had to suffer miscellaneous random challenges for two videos straight)

Heave-Ho That Killed Mario - 0 lines [0] (What a legend)

Thwomp of the Clock - 10 lines [10] (Apparently made of the same material the Penguins use for their megaton lasers at Penguin Village)

Baby Penguins - 0 lines [0]

Mother Penguin - 0 lines [0] (Adorably followed their baby)

MarySue54321 - 2 lines [2] (How is it that every time he shows up he gets more and more unfair powers)

Biggest Chad: Heave-Ho That Killed Mario - Turned from an enemy whose name I could not remember to a legend that killed Mario himself.

Biggest Loser: Thwomp of the Clock - Made two extremely lame challenges and a third that needed this universe’s Mary Sue’s divine intervention to put into fruition.

Favorite Quote: “Wow. MM54321 really messed with this level!!” - A very concerned Mario (As he should be. The fact that MM can just terraform the planet to his will means that literally nothing is safe from his grasp, it’s a miracle these people aren’t bowing to him as their god yet)

So what happened when Mario jumped on the switch? Is it just as MM said...or will something else happen?